Well, Bob Dylan's Modern Times is America's favourite new album. I stand corrected.
And yes, that also goes for the momentary lapse that had me confuse Love and Theft with Time Out of Mind. For those at home, Love and Theft is the one with the knock-knock joke. It also would have been a more appropriate title for the artist's latest release, given the amount of musical and lyrical theft that went into the making of Modern Times.
Perhaps, should Dylan depart from his routine of the past 20 years and actually play a few tunes from his new album, I can become a believer. But then, I still consider the Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid soundtrack to be one of Dylan's best albums, so maybe I never really understood anyway.
But enough about Dylan, for now. There'll be plenty of time to discuss the man after his show at The Bank eight weeks from now. And if ticket sales for Dylan's previous visits to that venue are any indication, we'll have no difficulty finding each other.
True fact (and true ones are my favourite kind of facts, much like thinking to myself is my favourite form of thinking): The last time I paid more than $80 to see Dylan, the bill also included George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Tom Petty, Neil Young and (more or less) Sinead O'Connor. Here's hoping this show will offer similar value for money.
But, um, enough about Dylan. Again. Let's talk about something else.
Like Paris Hilton's latest transgression. Other than her album, that is. Really, how hard can it be for the Paris Hiltons and Margaret Trudeaus of the world to secure a cab? You can bet in future Mel Gibson won't be taking any chances behind the wheel.
(Uh oh, did I just give the paper cause to run another Paris Hilton photo? My apologies, dear reader.)
Here's a better topic for discussion: Compare and contrast these two headlines, both of which led yesterday's international news -- "Blair vows to resign"; "Bush defends secret prisons."
Domestically, of course, the two top headlines relate to TV talent-contest hopefuls. It seems Rock Star might once again determine the best person to front a band of washed-up rockers is a Canadian (something Styx determined years ago). And of course local siren Eva Avila is poised to take home the latest Canadian Idol crown -- yet more proof Homegrown Cafe contestants were more talented than we suspected.
Well, maybe not the ones in the 'Variety' category.
But if we want to talk about real idols, all hail Gwen Stefani, who this week announced we will soon be able to bring the professionally hip No Doubt singer home in doll form. A variety of dolls, apparently, including ones patterned after her backup dancers.
Impressive, but no Kurt Cobain. Expect the second in a series of Cobain action figures to hit shelves in time for Christmas -- not that a true Cobain devotee would celebrate such a holiday.
The first doll was modelled after Cobain's look in the Smells Like Teen Spirit video; this one takes as its inspiration the MTV Unplugged performance. That, presumably, leaves only one more memorable scenario for manufacturers to celebrate with a third and final doll.
It won't be pretty, but it will be all too appropriate.
Which brings us back to Love and Theft. And, of course, to America's favourite rocker, Dylan.
Or, if you prefer, we could bring Dylan back into this by mentioning Cobain's former bandmate Dave Grohl and his Foo Fighters will be opening for our idol at Scotiabank Place on Nov. 5.
Nice one, Dave. And way better than, say, Rock Star: Nirvana.
