Actual conversation that took place this week in our office:

"The Goo Goo Dolls haven't made a good album in 10 years!"

"But they did one of the best songs of all time!"

"Oh yeah? Name it!"

"Um ... "

There, in a nutshell, is the plight faced by The Goo Goo Dolls. They've been around nearly 20 years. They've sold bunches of albums. They've had a couple of hits like Iris and Name. But no matter what they do, they get no respect. The music cognoscenti dismiss them as second-rate Replacements clones. And the public can't even pronounce singer and guitarist Johnny Rzeznik's name, let alone remember it.

Well, we'd like to be the ones who inform you that their eighth studio album Gutterflower is going to change all that. We'd like to -- but we'd be lying. The sad truth is these dozen tracks probably aren't going to change a thing for Rzeznik, bassist Robby Takac and drummer Mike Malinin. Because yet again, The Goo Goo Dolls have somehow managed to make an album that produces instant musical amnesia -- five minutes after you listen to Gutterflower, you can't remember one damn thing about it.

It's not that the band is untalented. Or that their music is repugnant. Johnny is a decent if unspectacular guitarist. His voice is appealingly raspy, and his range has broadened enough over the years that now he only sounds like Paul Westerberg occasionally. Ditto for his songwriting -- most of these tracks are straightahead pop-rockers built on tight guitar lines and simple melodies. For their part, the rhythm section hold down their end respectably, with precise, tasteful understatement. Bassist Takac even contributes a handful of songs and vocals that are right up there with Rzeznik's work. No lie, they're a talented bunch.

Trouble is, they're not a particularly wild bunch. Rzeznik appears determined to pitch his jangly, Midwestern anthems straight for the lowest-common-denominator pop charts. And he seems to feel that requires him to make them as universally acceptable and easily digestible as possible, without even the slightest bumps in the road, rough edges or anything else that might rub someone the wrong way. Off-kilter rhythms, attention-getting arrangements, envelope-pushing solos -- you won't find any of that here. Just songs that are as safe, predictable and uninspired as a teenager's plagiarized English essay. And speaking of words, Rzeznik doesn't do himself any favours with his lyrics, which are equally uninventive tales of love and lack thereof, with lines that can be too wordy for Alanis ("You're a supermarket punk rock television comedy out on the scene").

No wonder it's almost impossible to connect with any of these tunes, no matter how hard you try. And we honestly gave it our best shot. We spun Gutterflower several times from front to back. Couldn't remember a single song. Then we listened to some songs three or four times in a row. Couldn't hum a chorus with a gun to our head.

Hey, maybe that's just us. Maybe Gutterflower will hook you like a mackerel. Maybe tomorrow you'll rave to all your friends about it. But we doubt it. In fact, we bet the conversation goes more like this:

"Get any new CDs lately?"

"I got the Goo Goo Dolls."

"What's it called again?"

"Um ... " (More on Goo Goo Dolls).

Track Listing