Normally, we wouldn't do this. And by "this," of course, we mean "voluntarily listen to Guns N' Roses."

Kidding. Kidding. We like GN'R as much as the next dude. At least, we used to. Or we think we did. It's kind of hard to remember at this point. After all, it's been a while since we've heard from our old pal Axl Rose.

Since the band ground to a halt following 1993's covers EP The Spaghetti Incident?, the Gunners -- which now seems to consist of Axl and random musicians drawn by some sort of lottery scheme -- have put out a total of two songs: A pointless cover of Sympathy for the Devil on the Interview With a Vampire soundtrack in 1994, and the industrial-flavoured Oh My God on the End of Days soundtrack in 1999. Speaking of End of Days, that's about when we expected to hear Chinese Democracy, the album Rose has supposedly been making, and remaking, and re-remaking, for about a decade.

But that all changed last week. Because last week, three -- count 'em, three -- new GN'R tracks surfaced on the Internet. Which brings us to the thing we wouldn't normally do. Normally, we wouldn't review unauthorized tracks from the Net. It doesn't seem fair to the artists to critique work that might be half-finished or never intended for release. It doesn't seem fair to readers to write about music they can't buy. And it doesn't seem kosher to encourage illegal file-sharing by publicizing illegal tracks.

But three new GN'R songs in one week? That's hardly normal. That's the musical equivalent of Howard Hughes, Greta Garbo and J.D. Salinger throwing a surprise party for Bigfoot. We figure we can make an exception in this case. So we tracked down the songs -- actually, we got somebody way more net-savvy than us to track them down -- and gave them a spin. Here's what we heard. And remember, kids, don't try this at home.

IRS | 4:16

Like all three tunes, this number is a far cry from the Sunset Strip sleaze of Guns' glory days. In fact, the jangly guitar chords and weepy slide notes that usher us into IRS sound more like Zep's Rain Song -- and Axl quietly moaning like somebody squeezed his lemon does nothing to dispel that notion. Soon, though, a squiggly electronic drum loop does. And once the live drums and a chunky, phased power chord riff kick in, we're on more familiar turf. The bulk of the song alternates between the two parts, with Rose -- whose voice hasn't changed much over the years -- alternately whining and shrieking about how some woman done him wrong. The mix is rough, but the pyrotechnic solo and oddball, jazzy guitar chords sound like Buckethead to our ears.

Decipherable Lyrics: "Gonna call the president, gonna call a private eye, gonna need the IRS, gonna get the FBI." Why? Is he finally wondering where his career went?

There Was a Time | 6:43

A funky hip-hop loop sets the groove, while a plunky piano melody and ominous strings create a horror-soundtrack vibe. Axl's voice comes in distorted -- though that could be the mix -- kvetching about drugs and betrayal and, yes, how some woman done him wrong (which would explain the song's misogynist acronym). Anyway, as Axl works himself into a lather, twin guitars gnash away as the cut ebbs, flows and gradually builds to a grand crescendo a la November Rain. Then it ends with a nice solid wallop. The most fully realized song of the trio.

Decipherable Lyrics: "I was the one who gave you everything -- the one who took the fall. You were the one who would do anything."

Better | 2:06

We found two incomplete versions of this number -- but both were long enough to get the idea. What sounds like a heavily treated guitar chimes away in the right channel. A scratchy lick sets up shop in the left channel. Rose comes up the middle, crooning a sing-songy lyric that's almost a lullaby. The wakeup call comes 30 seconds in, when the grinding guitar chords and midtempo beat arrive. The verses -- with Axl bitching about (all together now) a woman who done him wrong -- rock solidly, and the wah-wah-laced chorus works, but the offbeat bridge kills the momentum. Still, it's the rockiest of these tunes.

Decipherable Lyrics: "Replay the part, you stole my heart, I should have known you're crazy."

Final Verdict: Not bad -- but not worth waiting a decade for. If it were anyone else, we might suggest heading back to the drawing board. But with Rose, who knows if we'd ever hear from him again?