The cover of Michael Jackson's posthumous album, due out on December 14.

"The paparazzi would not leave him alone," says a reporter at the start of Michael Jackson's just-released Breaking News.

Really, at this point paparazzi are the least of MJ's worries. These days it's the remixers who won't let the poor guy rest in peace.

Breaking News -- which began streaming on Jackson's website Monday morning to promote the upcoming album Michael -- is one of two posthumous releases to emerge recently. The other -- a lengthy dance mix dubbed Opis None -- showed up on the Jackson Secret Vault site on Saturday.

Truth be told, neither one is exactly primo Jacko. In fact, neither one even sounds much like him.

The vocals on the verses of the self-referential Breaking News seem artificial, as if they were recorded for a different song and heavily manipulated to readjust their pitch and tempo, then buried under layers of overdubs. It's no wonder many fans -- and, according to reports, some of Jackson's children -- believe it's the voice of an impersonator.

The lyrics don't help. Even for Jackson, a guy who spent plenty of time navel-gazing, they seem heavy-handed and weird: "Everybody wanting a piece of Michael Jackson," he says, referring to himself in the third person. "Reporters stalking the moves of Michael Jackson."

Michael Jackson goes on to accuse the media of feeding on Michael Jackson -- pot and kettle, dude -- and of wanting to write his obit, before launching into the chorus: "Why is it strange that I would fall in love? Who is that boogieman you're thinking of?"

Well, in this case it's the guy who set those lyrics to a new jack swing groove lifted from Dangerous, anchored by a thwacking beatbox and haphazardly decorated with everything from string and horn flourishes to turntable scratches and synth squiggles. It sounds like somebody sampled Jackson's old songs, tossed the bits into a computer, closed their eyes and started pushing buttons.

Then again, it's a work of genius next to Opis None. Originally billed as a previously unreleased song authorized by Katherine Jackson, it apparently turned out to be an old extended dance mix of Destiny that was issued without the family's input or approval. Listening to this meandering piece of glop -- which consists of random whoops and backwards vocal snippets accompanied by noodling guitars and synths -- it's hard to believe anybody would want this released. It's basically 12 minutes of your life you won't get back.

Breaking News is streaming at www.michaeljackson.com. You can hear Opis None at jacksonsecretvault.com, but I would strongly advise against it. The Michael album is due in stores and online Dec. 14.

To quote another of the reporters heard on Breaking News: "Here we go again."