PASADENA, Calif. -- You know how Gene Simmons claims to have slept with 2000 groupies? Well, not so much.

The tongue wagging KISS frontman was at press tour yesterday to promote Gene Simmons: Family Jewels, which premieres Aug. 7 at 10 p.m. on A&E. The Osbournes-like reality series shows Simmons the doting dad at home with his beautiful Newfoundland-born Playboy Playmate Shannen Tweed. The pair have been "happily unmarried" for 23 years and have two kids Nick, 17, and Sophie, 14.

Bad enough that their dad wore Demon makeup and spat blood on stage. These kids also had a mom who posed nude and once lived with Hugh Hefner. Still, they seemed remarkably normal and well adjusted at yesterday's session.

Stiletto-heeled Tweed describes herself as more of a "soccer mom" these days. As for being the world's most tolerant partner, don't believe everything that Simmons says, she said. "If those things were true he'd be missing a limb."

After the session, Simmons was asked point blank if he was really the legendary swordsman he always claimed to be.

"I want everybody to believe in their heart that I mount any female within a thousand yards," he said. "You've got to be afraid of the boogeyman. I want to be the boogeyman. I don't want to be the next door neighbor."

Simmons, who claims never to have touched booze or drugs, says he did watch his old tour pal Ozzy shuffle and slur through The Osbournes. The lesson? "Don't do drugs," he said. "If you have any doubts, watch that show."