OTTAWA - I guess age is relative, because it didn't matter one bit that the boys from New Kids on the Block aren't kids anymore to the 5,000 screaming fans at Scotiabank Place last night.

It didn't matter that the sound was too loud or that the setlist was achingly bland, that the costumes looked like they were mothballed from The 20-Minute Workout or that I haven't seen anyone actually do the Robot, or Flashdance or breakdance since the 1980s.

None of that mattered one bit. What did matter was that for two-hours, the heat-seeking heartthrobs made thousands of adult women scream like they were 14 years old with a crush on a cute boy again.

And in that regard, Jordan and Jonathan Knight, Donnie Wahlberg, Danny Wood and Joey McIntyre followed the program and gave the fans, largely 30-ish hotties wearing handmade tees with their favourite Kid's name on it, as much attention as five men can split between 5,000 women.

Last year, the boys from Beantown reunited after a 15-year hiatus, recording their comeback and calling it The Block to reflect their more manly disposition. Yet, while the boys themselves seemed to have weathered the years in remarkably good shape, the act clearly hasn't.

Yikes. Hello, NKOTB, it's the '80s calling, and it's telling you to move on with your life.

Please.

Backed by an industrial-strength rhythm section and four Pussycat Doll-style dancers, the boys opened the show with Call It What You Want, followed by My Favourite Girl, The Right Stuff and a soulless cover of Didn't I Blow Your Mind This Time to get the screams and cellphones going.

That was about as good as the music got. For the most part, their set strung forgettable boy-band bubblegum hits like Please Don't Go Girl, a video duet with the Pussycat Dolls' Nicole Scherzinger on Grown Man and Dirty Dancing in a show that placed more importance on posing and teasing than on solid musical performances.

Throughout the two-hour show, the boys exchanged vocals and worked the crowd, at one point sneaking into the middle of the arena floor.

About the only member whose voice shone was the Broadway-bound McIntyre. His vocals on Stay the Same and If You Go Away were among the best musical moments of the night. Meanwhile, Jordan Knight showed he is still capable of hitting truly high notes that aren't very pleasant to hear.

There were times when the gig degenerated into chaotic silliness. At one point, Wahlberg taunted and then teased that women flashing the boys in the front that, "The only people flashing here tonight would be the band." Later, true to their word, the band pulled down their pants, revealing black briefs with the Canadian flag, and causing a small shower of panties in return before Cover Girl and Click Click Click.

For their encore, the boys did the crowd favourite Step by Step and finally, wearing Team Canada jerseys for Hangin' Tough.

Yes, the boys put on quite a show, non-stop entertainment. There were times when I felt like I was on a cruise and not an expensive one either.

But then, I'm hardly the target market. As for the 5,000 fans still standing at the end of the show, it proves women really do have a higher tolerance for pain than men do.