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THE LONG ROAD
Nickelback
(Roadrunner/EMI)
"You don't have a clur about music," the message began -- and yes, the dweeb wrote 'clur.' Then he got to the point: "How can you say a washed-up old man like Bob Dylan is better than Nickelback?"
We kid you not. That's an actual e-mail we got when we had the temerity to give Nickelback's Silver Side Up a lower rating than Dylan's Love and Theft. And it's the sort of brainiac response we get every time we fail to worship at the altar of the reigning teenybopper rock icon.
Well, if Chad Kroeger and Nickelback are still heroes to the junior high set, we expect to get more of the same this weekend -- mainly because the band's fourth album, The Long Road, is just more of the same, too.
More chest-pounding grudge-rockers like Do This Anymore. More bellowing-moose power ballads like Someday and Feelin' Way Too Damn Good. More stadium-sized power-chord hooks. More whoa-ho vocal refrains. More dour songs about drugs, teen suicide, dysfunctional families, single moms, bad dads, bad breaks and bad breakups. And more lyrical atrocities like "I like your pants around your knees" and "We gotta make love just one last time in the shower" (thanks for the visual, Chad).
Admittedly, there are a few worthwhile moments to be found among these 14 cuts. Opener Flat on the Floor and Because of You sport grinding low-neck riffs and pumpin' beats that veer closer to metal than the boys have in a while.
And the bonus tunes -- mostly one-off soundtrack cuts like a cover of Elton John's Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) -- show how likable the band can be when they get to lighten up and rock out. The rest of the time, though, The Long Road just reminds us of typically turgid glop like How You Remind Me and Hero.
Then again, what do we know? If you recall, we don't have a clur about music. (More on Nickelback)
Track Listing
1. Flat On The Floor
2. Do This Anymore
3. Someday
4. Believe It Or Not
5. Feelin' Way Too Damn Good
6. Because Of You
7. Figured You Out
8. Should've Listened
9. Throw Yourself Away
10. Another Hole In The Head
11. See You At The Show
12. Saturday's Alright (For Fighting)
13. Yanking Out My...
14. Learn The Hard Way