Suede, Pavement, Offspring ... add Oasis to the ever-lengthening list of Next Big Things to arrive in Toronto on a wave of hype - to which some of us willingly contributed - only to crash to the ground 10 minutes after they hit the stage.

Part of the reason for that situation is that none of the above acts is particularly interested in the time-honored tradition of pandering to the crowd ("Toronto! Are you ready to rock?!")

In Oasis's case, however, the explanation is simpler than that.

They have all the stage presence of a bunch of sedated actuarials.

In fact, the best vantage point from which to watch Oasis at a packed Lee's Palace two nights ago was from behind a tall post. If you couldn't see frontman Liam Gallagher - who spent the majority of the show rooted in front of the mike, his hands clasped demurely behind him - what was coming out his mouth sounded great.

The 55-minute set consisted of the entire Definitely Maybe album, one B-side (Fade Away), and a cover of The Beatles' I Am The Walrus.

The latter was slated to be the encore, but since the tragically hip Toronto crowd couldn't work up anything even resembling an ovation, the band simply lingered on stage for an extra song.

Not everything was such a dead loss. At the tail end of the set, the band kicked out a crunching, hopped-up version of their signature tune, Supersonic. And, despite their relentlessly dour demeanor, they proved they do have a sense of humor, sneaking in the lines "I'd like to buy the world a Coke/And keep it company" at the close of Shakermaker, a song that's gotten them into hot water over its alleged similarity to The New Seekers' '70s hit/soda commercial, I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing.

Still, as one unimpressed fan said to me on the way out, "I think they need someone to drop some dynamite in their pants."

Providing a somewhat incongruous opening to the evening was local trio Why The Sky. Though their challenging 40-minute set - PJ Harvey springs to mind as a useful reference point - wasn't exactly tailor-made for a crowd waiting to sing along to Cigarettes And Alcohol, they managed to duplicate the complex arrangements of their debut cassette with ease. Don't be surprised if some savvy major snaps them up before year's end.

JAM! Rating: 3 out of 5