Welcome, gentle reader, to another episode of TRUE TALES OF THE ROAD.

By Elvis, it's been a while.

Our guests this week are the Philosopher Kings, one of Canada's top soul groups, playing tomorrow night at the Arden Theatre. Their tale concerns an attempted tour bus hijacking that ends with love and forgiveness.

Singer Gerald Eaton: "We were driving along, heading down to New Orleans and these two girls drive up alongside us in their car and start waving s--- at us that looks like their underwear. So, like any decent band, we decide to pull over and investigate and make sure everyone's OK. They came on and hung out with us for a little while on the bus - and then one of them pulled a knife and tried to get us to take her to Baton Rouge.

"She was a beautiful girl, a little drugged out, a little freaky, and the knife was big enough to scare us. So we turned the bus around. She said she didn't have a house and she wanted to live on our bus and she was going to kick us all out. We begged and she let us stay until we got to a town. We didn't want to rush her or anything.

"We were half s---tting and half really tripping out on the experience, because it was pretty cool. But how would it look if the bus pulled up and this girl jumped out waving a knife? I'm sure the authorities would think we were the bad guys, being a band of men and all. So we talked her down. She calmed down, made friends with us and travelled with us for the rest of the tour. She sold T-shirts for us.

"I don't think she was actually going to cut our throats. She was just a freaked-out girl that needed some help. I can't divulge her name, but she was a great girl. And then she said her goodbyes. I think someone in the band still keeps in touch with her. Every now and then we get a letter. She's a sweet girl.

"That was definitely the wildest experience we ever had on the road. It's crazy out there, you know?"

In answer to the obvious question, Eaton laughs and invokes the CODE OF THE ROAD: "I can't divulge what happens in the privacy of the back lounge."

But it's all true, he says, every word.

As we still have some space left, getting to meet Hugh Hefner was a close second in the book of wild experiences of the Philosopher Kings. The band recently filmed a video at the legendary Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Eaton particularly was taken with the man who built an empire on soft-core porn and lounging around in your pyjamas all day long.

"That man single-handedly started the sexual revolution," Eaton enthuses. "He did, man. He created Marilyn Monroe and he created the '60s, man! I think he was a huge influence on the sexual revolution and the whole breaking down of conservatism and McCarthyism and all that bull---.

"When you're a teenager, you think, 'heh, heh, Playboy Mansion, big (breasts), bunch of Playboy bunnies,' but when you're older you started to realize the place he had in history. It's quite a contribution."

There's nothing sexist about Playboy, Eaton adds. And that goes for his band, too.

"Is it sexist to have sexy music? It's definitely music about sex. That's one of my favorite things to sing about. I think the relationship I generally have with an audience is of a sexual nature."

Oh, and the name of the song made into the video? - Hurts to Love You. I think that says it all.

Tickets to the Philosopher Kings, with the Wild Strawberries opening, are $18.50 for adults and $15 for seniors and youths. Call 459-1452 for details.