I can see my lifelong quest to avoid seeing The Police is going to become increasingly difficult this year.

Still, I managed to miss the former Eric Burdon and the Animals guitarist and his bandmates’ return last Sunday. Which is a good start.

The decision to open the Grammy telecast with a performance by a band that was in no way eligible for even an award, even through the Grammys’ generous standards, has been criticized as an illustration of how out of touch the music industry’s self-congratulatory ceremony remains. But, as this week’s Brit Awards — hosted by Samantha Fox and Mick Fleetwood, and highlighted by an award to Oasis for ‘outstanding contribution to music’ — demonstrated, the Grammys are less out of touch than some.

Besides, one can hardly fault a spectacle that boasted an appearance by Smokey Robinson, performing Tracks of My Tears. At least, that scary-looking porcelain doll that sang the Motown classic claimed to be Smokey Robinson. And he gave us a reasonable rendition of a great song.

This year’s telecast came, as do all Grammys, amidst concerns about the increasing irrelevance of the music industry. But viewership was up, thanks in large part to a decision not to repeat last year’s head-to-head battle with American Idol, the show that embodies the true meaning of music. And industry.

Sadly, American Idol this week got all serious about its quest for the next Ruben Studdard, in the process abandoning the painfully bad performers that have become the series’ unlikely bread and butter. Worse, Paula Abdul opted to shatter her public image by proclaiming she has “never been drunk.”

According to Abdul, no alcoholic could have accomplished as much over the past “20 years” as she has. That, of course, would be, uh, Straight Up and a seat on the American Idol judges’ panel.

But speaking of Grammys and people who can’t sing, let us turn to the week’s most exciting music news: Reports of a coming biopic “in the cinematic steps of such icons as Ray Charles and Johnny Cash,” all about Milli Vanilli.

It seems Fab has already given the project his approval. And if all goes well, perhaps a sympathetic portrayal of the infamous duo can spearhead a campaign to have Milli Vanilli’s 1990 Best New Artist Grammy win reinstated. After all, when a manufactured, synthetic act is recognized by the likes of the Grammys as best new artist, the revelation there was no substance behind the style should work for, not against, that artist.

Which, for the record, does not bring us back to The Police, a group whose naggingly catchy songs will again be everywhere this year. As will Stewart Copeland and his bandmates. That was already made clear early this month on The Office. And again at the Grammys. And the surrounding press conferences and statements about world tours.

The imminent return of Policemania overshadowed even Harrods’ plan to break the world’s record for the most guitarists simultaneously playing one song. The London department store reported the anticipated rendition of Smoke on the Water, expected to attract more than 2,000 guitarists, has been cancelled.

“We do hope,” Harrods said, “that no inconvenience has been caused.”

That’s right, 2,000 Londoners not playing Smoke on the Water is viewed as an inconvenience.

Maybe those awards shows are not so out of touch after all.