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May 29, 2007
The Police by the numbers
By DEAN BROUGHTON, Sun Media
$254.50: Amount just to get in the door to write this article. 20: Number semi-tractor trailers with Illinois plates in parking lot (three of which had motors running contravening Vancouver's no idling bylaw). 7: Number luxury tour buses with Tennessee plates in parking lot across from GM Place. 1: Number of mug shots distributed to Vancouver police of psychotic fan from Denmark forbidden to enter GM Place. $200: Price of floor ticket being hawked by scalpers at 6:26 p.m. $240: Price of same ticket bought by gullible fan 20 minutes after it went on sale. $60: Price scalpers were flogging floor tickets for prior to Sunday's fan show. 17: Minutes after Fiction Plane takes stage before first waft marijuana smoke swirls into press box. $40: Men's classic concert T-shirt. $45: Women's classic concert T-shirt. $5: Difference for the math impaired. $450: Vintage leather Police jacket. $135: Women's vintage jacket. $35: Black Police ball cap (nothing special). $15: Police tote bag. 162: Cougar count in one rotation of 300 level concourse (nose bleeds) between opening act and Police. 107: Cougar count in one rotation of 100 level concourse between opening act and Police (albeit with considerably more plastic surgery). 4: Chachi count (men wearing sunglasses in dimly lit arena). 1: Number of women in section 118 obviously surfing on crystal meth. 8: Number of old men in section 118 who appeared to be one pork chop away from a heart attack. 2: Number of men in section 118 who would have that heart attack during moment of post-concert passion with women 20 years their junior. 12: Drops of blood counted after fight on 100 level concourse. (Combatants ejected). 2: Number of broken drumsticks Stewart Copeland threw that almost made the first row behind the stage. 12: Number of songs Police played before writer's realization they are irrelevant. |
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