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"They're terrible, they're a really lousy team," says a non- word-mincing Dave Bidini of the Dublin Fires, Ireland's national team, which he played on for two weeks in October as research for a book he's writing about hockey around the world.
"The rink is a square, a very small square," recalls Bidini.
"They don't even have a Zamboni -- it's a tractor that pulls this hunk of carpet behind it. It was really weird."
But Bidini is no stranger to weird, or quirky.
The Toronto-based Rheostatics -- who play the University Theatre on Friday -- have always been a little left of centre when it comes to music.
Whether it be the sardonic, edgy pop of their 1987 debut, Greatest Hits, or the epic, orchestral meanderings of Whale Music and Music Inspired by the Group of Seven, the Rheostatics are constantly evolving.
Which is why fans should not be surprised by the group's latest release, The Story of Harmelodia.
Though the CD comes complete with an illustrated (by Rheostatic Martin Tielli) children's story, which the music and lyrics are based on, Bidini considers Harmelodia more of a concept record than a children's recording.
"We never really started with the idea of writing music for kids," he says. "Every musical project you're really writing for yourself. We wanted it to be an adult record, but the children's story is where the connection with the kids comes in."
The album was inspired partly by the catchy Schoolhouse Rock! and Sesame Street tunes of his childhood and partly by oddball concept albums like The Small Faces' Ogdens' Nut Gone Flake.
"We went by memories of seeing Alice Cooper on The Muppets when we were growing up and all the great Schoolhouse Rock! stuff and remembering how tuneful they were," says Bidini, who will read passages from his first book, the anecdotal rock 'n' roll tale On a Cold Road at Pages on Kensington 7:30 p.m. on Sunday.
Bidini hopes Harmelodia will be an album that can appeal to all different ages, which is something he believes lacks in newer children's music.
"Children's literature has always thrived, but children's music has taken a bit of a nosedive," he says.
"It seemed to me it had been dumbed down a lot ... I don't have kids, so it's not like I'm inundated, but I'd often heard the complaints from parents that there was really nothing they could listen to with their kids.
"I remembered when I was a kid how great and how rich children's music was. I thought it might be an interesting place to go musically to discover what made children's music really great in the '70s."