Britney, A to Z

JIM SLOTEK

, Last Updated: 2:34 AM ET

'I'm not that innocent!" she protests in song. But really, Britney, like, c'mon. The pop princess hits town today for a show at the ACC, chafing at her image with a new PG-rated album and a highly suggestive single and video I'm A Slave 4 U.

With so much under her belt before the age of 20, we figured we'd just alphabetize it. Herewith: Britney, A-to-Z.

A - ANTI-AGUILERA (www.geocities.com/drametoile/): A site run predominantly by Britney fans, devoted to dissing Britney's putative arch-enemy, Christina Aguilera. Sample section: "Christina is to Britney as McDonalds is to Burger King" with observations like "McDonalds, small buns ... Burger King, sculpted buns." Problem is, um, Britney is a McD's spokesperson.

B - BILLIONAIRE: According to a possibly apocryphal report, an anonymous billionaire offered her US$70 mil to sleep with him. Britney told The Sun no such offer was ever relayed to her.

C - CROSSROADS: Britney's first movie, a PG-rated teen drama in which she plays "this dorky girl named Lucy. I don't have much makeup on and I'm not really glamorous."

D - DISNEY: Britney's employer during her years on The Mickey Mouse Club, home of other soon-to-be-famous kids, including Christina, J.C. Chasez of NSYNC and, of course, Justin Timberlake, her boyfriend.

E - ENGLAND: "England is one of my favorite places. The fans are just so crazy," says Brit. It's also where the wildest Britney tabloid rumours originate, including the billionaire-wants-a-virgin story and a recent one about her having a Vegas hotel deck out a special suite for her upcoming "first time" with Justin.

F - THE FLU: What sidelined her from touring for five days last week. As always, the news was analyzed heavily by the innocents who make up her fanbase, who speculated it might have something to do with Brit and J finally doing it. "You always get the flu the first time you have sex," one opined on the Internet newsgroup alt.fan.britney-spears.

G - GEOGRAPHY: Not Britney's strong suit. She once said one of the perks of stardom was, "I get to go to a lot of overseas places, like Canada."

H - HOUSE, as in mansion, which she moved into in September with Justin: Living together in a not-yet-consummated boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is "the most normal thing in the world," she reportedly told a German mag.

I - IMPLANTS: No, they're real. Britney went on the record saying so in 1999.

J - JUSTIN, natch: Omigod!

K - KENTWOOD, La.: Where Britney was born Dec. 2, 1981.

L - LIKE: "We were, like, 12 or 13 and it was, like, 'Hi, do you like me?' It was like puppy love." -- On what it was like with Justin when they were on The Mickey Mouse Club together.

M - MADONNA and MARIAH: Britney's idols. For her part, Madonna has been seen in concert wearing Britney Spears T-shirts, but there's some indication she's being ironic.

N - NAPSTER: The now offline file-sharing service was responsible for millions of downloads of her gaffe at Rock In Rio, when she complained about the staging in front of a live mike, calling the show "f---ing retarded!"

O - OOPS: As in Oops, I Did It Again, Britney's second album, in which she proved herself immune to the Sophomore Jinx.

P - PETA: The animal rights group was decidedly displeased with Britney's performance of I'm A Slave 4 U at the MTV Video Music Awards, which featured a live snake and cheetahs. PETA claims the cats were mistreated.

Q - QUIET: What she likes best about her relationship with Justin. "The silence is the best. And, that's how me and J. are. When we're in a room together, we don't have to say anything. It's for real."

R - RADIO HOAX: What was behind those reports in June that Britney was killed in a car crash. Two Dallas deejays who made up the story were subsequently fired.

S - SCARY MOVIE: It would have been her film debut, but she cancelled at the 11th hour because of tour commitments.

T -THONG: Which she wears over top of her black leather pants, in the video for I'm A Slave 4 U.

U - UNDERWEAR: What Britney wore for a Rolling Stone shoot, earning the ire of the American Family Association. "Just because I look sexy on the cover of Rolling Stone doesn't mean I'm naughty," she said.

V - VIAGRA, the male wonder drug: Viagra spokesperson Bob Dole gets the last word -- "Down boy!" --in that heavily rotated Britney Spears Pepsi commercial.

W - WILLIAM WINDSOR, a.k.a. Prince William, heir to the throne of England: Britney carried a major torch for him a few years ago, but denied she "stalked" him via e-mail.

X - RATED: By her mom at least. Last March's video for Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know was kiboshed by her mother Lynne, who demanded cuts to her love scenes with a male model.

Y - YOUNG GIRL: What Britney is not anymore, thank you very much. There's the song I'm Not A Girl, from her new album, and her assertion at a press conference for her upcoming HBO special that she wants to be "shocking and edgier ... I want to do things that people have never seen before. I don't want to be considered a role model."

Z - ZOMBA, Britney's record label, the parent company of Jive Records, which signed signed her in 1999 for her debut album ...Baby One More Time: It sold 13 million copies.


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