  Justin Timberlake. (Sun Media file photo)
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So, the auditions for Are You Smarter Than a Canadian 5th Grader? have come and gone. And perhaps, that's got you wondering how you stack up intellectually next to a 10-year-old.
Well, we can clear that with one question: What do you think Justin Timberlake was doing when he jokingly called Winnipeg "the most superbadass city in the world" in a taped segment on last weekend's Teen Choice Awards?
If you think he was maliciously slagging us, you are not only dumber than a fifth grader; you might want to get yourself fitted for a shiny new helmet. But before you do, please allow us to make a few observations about this earth-shattering controversy. Don't worry, we'll try to keep it simple.
1. Justin's segment was introduced by the stars of the movie Superbad. So he would have made the same lame "superbad" gag if he had been in Toronto, Vancouver or Cleveland. It really had nothing to do with us.
2. Justin may have pre-taped his segment long before he got here. We know, it's a shock to think the recipient of the 2007 Ultimate Choice Award might have known in advance, but try to deal. Check out the video on YouTube: He's in rain gear and holding an umbrella -- even though he's indoors. He's not trying to keep dry -- he may be trying to conceal the fact he actually is in Cleveland.
3. Perhaps you remember the '80s. Oh, those crazy, ironic times. People said 'bad' when they really meant 'good.' Michael Jackson even had a song called Bad -- though in his case, it sorta turned out to be true. Anyway, it's still the way kids talk sometimes. If you get offended or confused, you are officially old and uncool. And by 'old and uncool,' we mean: Old and uncool.
4. After he called us "superbadass," Justin said the award made him feel "superbadass." So if he was insulting us, he was also insulting the whole Teen Choice show. Does anyone really believe that Timberlake -- one of the most media-savvy entertainers around, with a legion of handlers devoted to maintaining his carefully groomed image -- goes around blatantly abusing fans? If you do, loosen that helmet. It's on too tight.
5. It's the freakin' Teen Choice Awards, for crying out loud. It's not a war crimes tribunal. Calm down and lighten up.
Which brings us to our main point: Can we all please stop going into paroxysms whenever an actor or singer says the word Winnipeg on TV? Frankly, it makes us look like insecure yokels who need somebody else's validation to feel good about ourselves. We don't. We're a big city. People come here to make movies. Bands come here to play. A few famous people were even born here. Some of them are going to mention us on TV and in print -- for better and for worse. Either way, for us the smart move is to play it cool.
Even a fifth grader knows that.
