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There's a famous line in the Van Halen song And The Cradle Will Rock where David Lee Roth inquires: "Have you seen junior's grades?"
So after witnessing the Sept. 27 launch of the band's reunion tour with Roth in Charlotte, N.C. -- the first time in 22 years that guitarist Eddie Van Halen and drummer Alex Van Halen have toured with Diamond Dave -- Sun Media decided to grade various aspects of the reunion show, which touches down for two sold-out shows at the Air Canada Centre, tomorrow night and Oct. 12.
AUDIENCE: Boomer men and their children mostly although the odd hot babe was seen. I kept thinking it must have been hard for Roth to talk dirty while staring at a bunch of 40- or 50-year-old guys in the front row. Still, they were an enthusiastic bunch. B-
STAGE: I liked the S-shaped catwalk, on to which both Roth and bassist Wolfgang Van Halen (Eddie's 16-year- old son with ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli, subbing for original bass player Michael Anthony) often ventured. Also the pyrotechnics -- yes there were green laser lights and confetti at the very end -- were kept to a minimum making it all about the music and on-stage chemistry. It's no U2 or Rolling Stones extravaganza, but in this case, it works. B+
SONGS: No complaints at all with hit after hit after hit from the Roth era -- 1978-1984 -- with the standouts being the opening three songs, You Really Got Me, I'm the One and Runnin' With the Devil; the middle-section highlights And the Cradle Will Rock, Hot for Teacher and Jamie's Cryin'; the coming-to-a-close classics Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love and Panama; and the encore crowd-pleaser Jump. A+
PERFORMANCE: It was all about Eddie's lightning fast playing, as it should be, with the 52-year-old guitar icon initially opening the show alone on stage and expertly working his way through an exciting solo toward the end. It was also cool to see Eddie interact with son Wolfgang on bass, giving him a smooch after Dance the Night Away and sliding toward him on his knees on Little Guitars. As for Roth, he sounded in good voice but I could have done without his props (chains during Unchained and a flag-waving segment worthy of a seasoned floor gymnast leading up to Jump). Oh, and the ever-present clownish grin gets a little old, too. B+
HAIR, CLOTHES: What hair? Eddie and Diamond Dave's trademark long locks are long gone, replaced with blond streaks (weave? toupee?) in Dave's case and a buzz cut in Eddie's. It's jarring the first time you see it, but then you get used to it. Otherwise, Eddie barely wore any clothes, going shirtless with knee-long green cargo shorts and runners. Roth, meanwhile, favoured top hats, flashy jackets that look like they might have been stolen from the Liberace Museum and skin-tight black leather pants that left little to the imagination. C
MERCHANDISE: The booths were busy, with everything from $65 hoodies to $40 bikini thong panties for that special someone in your life. There were also T-shirts ($40-$65), baseball hats ($40) and stickers ($10). How about belt buckles in the famous VH gleaming chrome logo? B-