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How does a big shot like Quentin Tarantino wind up directing tonight's two-hour season finale of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CTV, CBS, 8 p.m.)?
Simple. He asks.
The Kill Bill auteur kept running into the cast and crew at award shows. Said he was a big fan.
One week last January he happened to be in Vegas when a former criminologist by the name of Larry Mitchell -- a consultant on the series -- bumped into him at a food court and invited him out to the set.
Mitchell had no idea who Tarantino was.
Series lead William Petersen (Gil Grissom) knew the dude. So did creator Anthony Zuiker. When Tarantino mentioned he had a little idea for the show, well, before you could say "royale with cheese," the deal was done.
The result is a chilling, creepy, disturbing, intense, funny, dark, sick, twisted, perfect episode of TV's No. 1 drama. (SPOILER ALERT -- some details from tonight's show follow).
Grave Danger (nice title) begins at a too-quiet crime scene. Suddenly, one of Grissom's team is abducted, sedated and buried alive in a Plexiglas coffin (if you've caught any of the promo clips this week you probably already know who it is. Suffice to say one of the two actors who nearly got fired a year back in a salary dispute earns their paycheque tonight.)
The abductor has evidently seen several Tarantino movies. He leaves classic yet obscure '60s music behind as a clue. He speaks in short, punchy, smart-alecky sentences. He isn't afraid to spill his guts, all over the screen.
He also leaves a computer link that leads to a coffin-cam website transmission of the victim's plight. Grissom and crew stand in horror as they helplessly watch their colleague consumed by fear inside the see-through crypt. There's a time limit before the air cuts out. There's a loaded gun and a tape recorder in the coffin. And, as the computer link keeps telling the forensic cop crew, "YOU CAN ONLY WATCH."
The intensity of the situation was evidently too much for Frank Gorshin. The former Batman villain, who died yesterday at 72, has a juicy cameo about halfway through tonight's finale. (See story below). He's in a Vegas lounge reminiscing with Tony Curtis, barely recognizable under 14 pounds of fake hair.
"I'm telling you, you couldn't beat this town in the '70s," he says in a rare line of dialogue actually in the original script.
Better quips were evidently ad-libbed. "Me, dress up in drag?" Curtis says at one point to Gorshin. "Who do you think you're talking to -- Jack Lemmon?" Gorshin even breaks into one last blast of Jack Nicholson and Ed Sullivan, God rest his riddle-me-this soul.
Other stars from the '70s, including former Bond girl Lois Chiles and black belt action star John Saxon, get face time in short but key roles.
Besides the usual Tarantino time shifting, there are plenty of twists, shocks and gross humour, including a chainsaw gag in the morgue. Scenes shift from sweet tributes to Roy Rogers to splattered doggie entrails. As usual, you'll want to eat at least three hours before diving into this show.
Don't let that put you off. Tarantino has crafted a brilliant study in crime, character and courage. TV at its best.