BIG BROTHER 9 (finale)
All hail Big Baller.. Yes, it was lovable lug Adam Jasinski who walked away $500,000 richer. He won by a mile -- even his former soulmate Sheila voted for him after he ditched her for runnerup Ryan last week. My guess is the jury didn't have anything against Ryan, they just didn't want to see his snooty GF Jen benefit from the big payout. Ah well, at least this sick experiment has left the airwaves -- until July, anyway. See ya then, ChenBot!
Dancing With the Stars
This season's Marie Osmond Award for Live Injury goes to ... Cristian de la Fuente! The Chilean hunk didn't drop to the floor a la Marie, but he did drop partner Cheryl Burke after pulling an arm muscle mid-samba. To add insult to injury, Fuente received the lowest score of the night for the incomplete dance -- and a trip to the ER!
THE BACHELOR
Overnight date time! Drama princess Shayne showed Bachelor Matt her non-existent intellectual side; standoffish tomboy Chelsea couldn't get far enough away from the dude; and Amanda and Matt made a close connection by conquering their fears of heights together. Who went home? Amanda, of course.
AMERICAN IDOL
The "Paula's a drunk" rumours are back on (not that they were ever really off). The spinny judge had no idea what was going on when she was asked to give a brief critique of the Top 5's first song this week, telling Jason Castro his second song was sorta "empty." Well, yeah. The good news is the mishap -- dubbed PaulaGate 2008 -- distracted everyone from the fact that Neil Diamond classics and amateur singers don't mix.
DANCING WITH THE STARS
Shannon Elizabeth's fake butt did nothing for her voting results. The American Pie star and her booty pad were ousted this week, when America discovered hot lanky girls aren't necessarily coordinated. Speaking of faking it, Def Leppard must have gotten tips about performing on live TV from last week's guest singer Ashlee Simpson. Either that, or Joe Elliott has recovered so well from a recent respiratory tract infection that his voice now sounds exactly like it does on my MP3 player.
A SHOT AT LOVE 2 WITH TILA TEQUILA
Uh, maybe someone shoulda told Miss Tequila that a person who can catch blowing dollar bills while trapped inside a phone booth isn't necessarily rich. But, hey, digging for gold in the pockets of fools ain't easy. Aside from ridiculous games, the men and women still vying for Tila's, um, heart took part in a food fight, gambled, got smashed, got naked, and -- in alcoholic Christian and American Idol wannabe Fame's cases -- got sent home. Only three more sleeps until we can relive the magic again!
BEAUTY AND THE GEEK
Poor cowboy Joe. His partner Tara is disgusted by his utter presence, and yet he sincerely believes she's eventually going to come around. She's even taken to semi-attractive geek Tom in an effort to make Joe jealous, but that only fuels his passion. It's all rather sad -- and will likely continue next week (Jason and Christina were the ones sent home after this week's trip to Big Bear Mountain Resort). Can't wait.
HELL'S KITCHEN
I wonder what a $200 pizza tastes like. Gourmet junk food was the theme this week, and the women's team's tasty pie won them a helicopter ride to Santa Barbara for $90 hamburgers. Mmm. Though he still thinks they're all useless wastes of @#$%ing flesh, Gordon Ramsay decided not to fire anyone, since Vanessa had opted out of the competition after burning her hand to a crisp last service. Could this be a sign that Chef is weakening? Hell bleepin' no!
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL
Another victory for the plus-sized girl! Not only is size 10 model Whitney still in the competition -- they actually let her win a challenge. But don't get it twisted -- this week was all about The Tyra. The host praised herself for showing fierce photography skills at the Renaissance-themed photoshoot -- but didn't have such good things to say about Katarzyna, ousting the beauty because she apparently didn't show any improvement. In other words, Miss Banks was just sick of not being able to pronounce the girl's name.
FARMER WANTS A WIFE
The idea of a show called Farmer Wants a Wife (like The Bachelor, but with a country man and 10 city girls) sounded freakin' hilarious -- until it really happened. Looking under a chicken's rear to see if you got the egg to Matt's heart just doesn't have the same effect as a rose ceremony, I guess.
SURVIVOR: MICRONESIA
It's about time someone actually used their immunity idol. Thank you, Amanda, for saving yourself with an idol no one knew you had. Very smooth. Even better? Alexis -- the gal who flirted with Amanda's man Ozzy earlier in the season -- suffered, getting the heave-ho with only two votes against her. But it was James who suffered most. The beefy gravedigger was forced to leave the game because an infection in his finger was threatening to spread. He -- and his muscles -- will be missed.
TOP-RATED REALITY SHOWS IN Canada (millions of viewers)
American Idol (CTV, Tuesday) 2.46
American Idol (CTV, Wednesday) 2.35
Survivor: Micronesia (Global, Thursday) 1.95
Dancing With the Stars (CTV, Tuesday) 1.82
TOP-RATED REALITY SHOWS IN U.S. (millions of viewers)
American Idol (Tues) Fox 24.7
American Idol (Wed) Fox 23.2
Dancing With the Stars (Mon) ABC 18.0
Dancing With the Stars (Tues) ABC 18.0
Survivor: Micronesia (Thurs) CBS 12.9
