Bob Crowley becomes the 17th Survivor player to outwit, outlast and outplay for $1 million.

Raise your test tubes, science nerds; Bob Crowley is the newest Survivor.

The lovable and lanky physics teacher from Portland, Maine, can afford a fancier bowtie -- and perhaps a brand new lab -- after winning $1 million on Sunday's finale of Survivor: Gabon. Crowley picked up the seven-figure cheque after pulling in four votes to runnerup Susie Smith's three (and third place finalist Sugar Kiper's zero) from a jury of previous castoffs.

No shocker here, folks. The earnest quintagenarian was by far the most deserving Survivor on the reality TV competition's 17th edition. He won five consecutive challenges -- the most anyone has ever won in the show's history -- and had the strategic elements of the game down to a, well, science.

Even so, the road to wealth was rougher than a rhino's backside for teach Bob -- who won't have to return to the classroom (but probably will, because that's the kinda guy he is). Last night's two-hour finale was chock-full of eliminations, as the final five were quickly rounded down to one.

It was game over first for 22-year-old mastermind Ken Hoang, a professional video gamer who was shockingly blindsided by fellow castaways Bob, Sugar, Matty Whitmore and Susie Smith at the first tribal council meeting of the night. Bob fell through on his promise to give little Kenny his immunity necklace two councils in a row -- and he sure could have used it that second time.

Then went Matty, a 29-year-old personal trainer who had all the muscles any Survivor could need -- but couldn't start a fire to save his life. After he and Bob each received two votes at the second council meeting, host Jeff Probst announced the tie-breaker game would be a repeat of a challenge a few weeks ago where the castaways had to ignite a blaze that would burn through a rope. Outdoorsy Bob aced the challenge, leaving poor Matty out in the cold.

Oh, and remember that girlfriend Matty proposed to during the family visit a few weeks back? Yeah, well, hopefully she wasn't expecting a ring -- or at least one quite as blingin' as the one she could have had if Matty had gone all the way. Sigh.

If it's any consolation, Matty got a say in who did get the prize as part of the jury -- also including fellow castoffs Ken, Marcus Lehman, Charlie Herschel, Randy Bailey, Corinne Kaplan and Crystal Cox. Survivor's 17th grill session wasn't without a few punches: Kenny confronted Bob about the immunity necklace lies; Corinne asked Susie if she would agree to have her vocal chords removed if she won the million -- before throwing a low-blow to Sugar by mentioning her dead father; and Randy unleashed his jerky 'tude to give Sugar and Bob heck for laughing at him when he was voted out after attempting to use a fake idol they gave him.

While the rant session took place in Gabon, Probst carried that rustic ballot box all the way to Hollywood so the winner could be revealed before a live studio audience -- and with the final three fully shaved, clothed and made up to look like re-civilized human beings. Too bad we only saw them looking this way for, like, five minutes at the tail end of the show.

That's OK -- my best memories of Bob are still when he was wearing that red warrior costume, complete with facepaint in his beard. Congrats, man!