Quick, someone call an ambulance! After seeing another four episodes this week, I think I've OD'd on I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me out of Here!and my sanity must be saved before it's too late. Unless it already is too late - in which case, let's just get to the recaps:
The Bachelorette
Best. Dates. Ever. Like, seriously, Jillian's ziplining/champagne excursion with Michael and seaplane ride to the top of a glacier with Jesse had me so insanely jealous of all of them I wanted to scream from the top of a mountain peak (if I lived anywhere near a mountain peak). Obviously Mike and Jes got roses, while pizza entrepreneur Mark was finally shown the door. And since this show can't go a week without drama, tech consultant Ed made the tragic decision to leave when his boss called him with an ultimatum: Stay on your silly matchmaking show or keep your job. Poor Jill was torn when he chose a paycheque over her. Blame the economy.
I'm a Celebrity ...Get Me out of Here!
Three weeks in, this show has finally gone to poop. Actually I'm surprised it took that long -- and I'm also stunned Janice Dickinson went a week without doing a No. 2. Yes, confabs turned to doo-doo on Monday when the highly unpredictable World's First Supermodel was rushed to hospital with backup problems -- if you smell what I'm talking about. Ironically, Torrie and Sanjaya competed in a "tunnel of terror" challenge (the men won -- again) while John Salley (who?) replaced Lou Diamond Phillips (double who?) as camp leader. And yes, Janice returned -- unclogged, and eager to find something new to complain about.
I'm a Celebrity ...Get Me out of Here!
It's about time the jungle-brities: 1) Learned to wash up before dinner (thanks to demanding -- if not anal -- new leader John Salley); 2) Did something entertaining (that handheld horror flick was the best thing Stephen Baldwin has ever produced); and, 3) Had the great Is Sanjaya Gay? debate. For the record, he's not. But he doesn't mind if people think he is, or if women (Janice! Holly!) treat him like a "gay best friend." Way to, um, straighten things out.
Canada's Next Top Model
A model oughta look beautiful even when she's wearing a burlap sack -- but someone took that too literally by putting each girl in just that for a charisma-related challenge. Otherwise, it was just your average CNTM week: A visit to the dermatologist, a near-meltdown for Rebeccah, more complaints from Nikita, a "beauty" shoot where they posed with duct tape over their mouths (no comment) and a big buh-bye for Tara and her blah 'tude. As a side note: Would somebody call the fashion police about Meaghan's glasses?
So You Think You Can Dance
Let's face it; these kids had beginners' luck. After exploding onto the stage last week, the top 18 returned with mediocre performances -- like Janette and Brandon's disco (which was just okay, except for Janette's insane midair splits) and Jeanine and Phillip's non-titillating tango. However, underdogs Asuka and Vitolio pulled off a "painfully beautiful" waltz (says Mary Murphy) and a frontrunner has emerged in Kayla. Let's hope everyone else regains his or her footing.
I'm a Celebrity ...Get Me out of Here!
Pointless episode alert! Aside from a few slightly amusing moments where Janice Dickinson wriggled around on a faux spider web with Patti strapped to her, Wednesday's IaC...GMooH was another hour of bickering over who gets to eat what and who has to starve. Meh.
I Survived I JapaneseGame Show (premiere)
How do I love I Survived a Japanese Game Show? Two words: Human torpedoes. Nowhere else do you get to see Americans in head-to-toe Spandex get shot from a spinning platform into a tower of tin cans - as in one of three challenges endured by the Green Tiger and Red Robot team this week. This was after they found themselves dodging "sticky balls" while wearing pink bunny suits, and before Red Robot bottom two Kimberly and Yari had to be flung around in weighted spider costumes (Kimberly -- aka the bitchy one -- was sent packing). This is one guilty pleasure I don't regret wasting time on, that's for sure.
So You ThinkYou Can Dance
After Wednesday's less-than-stellar performances, it was anybody's game come elimination night. And while I was shocked to see energetic judge favourite Kayla fall into the bottom three, it was downright disappointing to see her ballroom dancing partner Max get the cane. As for female eliminee Ashley? Well, her time had come.
I'm a Celebrity ...Get Me out of Here!
Finally, some movement! The men's and women's team were abolished -- as were two celebs. And I betcha can't guess who there were (unless you watched, of course). Okay, I could have predicted the demise of Holly Montag, seeing as how I'm the only viewer who seems to know who she is. But Janice Dickinson? Great; who's gonna tick everyone off now? Oh, right, Stephen Baldwin.
TOP-RATED REALITY SHOWS IN THE U.S. (millions of viewers)
So You ThinkYou Can Dance THURSDAY (Fox) 8.7
So You ThinkYou Can Dance THURSDAY (Fox) 8.6
Wipeout (ABC) 8.5
The Bachelorette (ABC) 7.2
TOP-RATED REALITY SHOWS IN CANADA (millions of viewers)
So You ThinkYou Can Dance WEDNESDAY (CTV) 1.74
So You ThinkYou Can Dance THURSDAY (CTV) 1.51
