PASADENA, Calif. — Joan Rivers never sat down and never shut up.
The hilarious and unabashedly profane 76-year-old comedienne made a whirlwind appearance today at the Television Critics Association tour. Rivers never sat, but rather stood at a podium and spewed about everything, and later she also stood for a lengthy scrum with a small group of reporters.
Rivers was on hand to promote her new reality show How’d You Get So Rich?, which premieres next month on the U.S. cable station TV Land. There were lots of other things to talk about, however, and Rivers — as always — was not shy.
Just yesterday, there was an incident involving Rivers on a local Sacramento TV morning show, when Rivers took exception to a remark made by one of the male hosts about Rivers’ daughter Melissa. The guy said, “Ever run up to someone and say, ‘Hey, how’d you get so rich?’ and the woman replied, ‘By riding on my mom’s coat tails!’ ”
Rivers stopped the interview, saying, “Don’t get so f---ing smart.” Rivers’ microphone quickly was cut off and the hosts later apologized for her foul language.
Asked about the incident in the scrum today, Rivers said, “I’ve been in the business 48 years, how many times have I talked to people? But it crossed the line, big time. And he said, ‘I’m sorry,’ and I said, ‘Not acceptable.’
“Apparently later on they said, ‘We apologize for Joan Rivers,’ but apparently Howard Stern said today, ‘They should apologize themselves.’ ”
But you did drop the F-bomb on live TV, right Joan?
“I hope so,” Rivers said. “Jane Fonda dropped the C-bomb on The View, Joan Rivers has dropped the F-bomb in Sacramento, Judi Dench is waiting to drop the V-bomb in London. Just wait.”
Rivers and her daughter Melissa are fiercely loyal to each other, as everyone who watched The Celebrity Apprentice last season witnessed. So what’s the secret to that close relationship?
“My will,” Rivers told the scrum, prompting a lengthy laugh.
“Melissa’s not stupid. I have two dogs that are looking very good.
“We fight, but my God, the things we’ve been through. Bankruptcy, my husband’s suicide — everyone forgets, she got the call, and she had to come and tell me. Look, 20 years later and my eyes still well up. There’s a tremendous closeness to us. But she’s also a big girl.”
There wasn’t much formality in Rivers’ formal session at TCA today. Here’s a sampling:
* On Jay Leno’s upcoming late-night-style show that will air at 10 p.m.:
“Brilliant that they put Leno at 10, so Americans can get bored and go to sleep earlier. When was the last time you heard somebody say, ‘Hey, did you hear what Leno said last night?’ Never!”
* On her chief rival on The Celebrity Apprentice, poker player Annie Duke: “OK, Annie Douche, I didn’t like her, I wouldn’t have liked her if she played bingo, so it has nothing to do with poker.”
* On potential spinoffs to How’d You Get So Rich?: “There’s How’d You Get Fatter Than a Fifth of an Acre, with Kirstie Alley. And the follow-up show is hosted by the Madoffs, called How’d You Get So F---ing Poor.”
* On one person Rivers interviewed for the show who actually opened up his safe: “We counted money. I had an orgasm. First one since Melissa.”
Sheesh, never a dull moment with Joan Rivers. After listening to her, we needed a nap. Amazingly, she didn’t.
bill.harris@sunmedia.ca
