Jon & Kate

HOLLYWOOD -- From the desk of Hollywood South.

An open letter to Jon & Kate & Octomom & Speidi (as in Spencer & Heidi) plus assorted Big Brothers, Biggest Losers and other manufactured "celebrities" who have insisted on pushing the limits of their allotted 15 minutes of fame/infamy:

Dear guys,

Could you just ... let's see ... how best to put this? Uhhh ... got it.

Go away?

Permanently?

You've all become awfully tiresome, whatever your current permutations, be they Jon Plus Four & Kate Plus Four or Octomom: The (Not-so) Incredible Unseen Footage, and we truly feel the world would be a better place if you simply faded back into obscurity.

Yeah, yeah, we know. We're not exactly off the hook when it comes to keeping you in the spotlight to begin with.

All the media attention in the world wouldn't have meant a thing if we hadn't regularly tuned in to your antics, so, yes, we're willing to shoulder some of the blame.

But while the fickle media also has a tendency to ruthlessly tear down what it so breathlessly built up (paging Susan Boyle ... no, wait, better not. She'll get annoyed!) truth is, you and all your reality-bred cohorts all came with a best before date that has since elapsed.

And, that goes for, you, too, surviving Jacksons, whose aborted reality series is reportedly going ahead after all, shifting focus to show Michael's family members grappling with his passing and trying to get on with their own lives.

Originally the unscripted A&E series was supposed to chronicle an intended reunion between Michael and his brothers and many hours of footage had already been filmed prior to Jackson's June 25 death.

We realize that it must be really tough saying farewell to the golden calf, but even though the world spent a good chunk of the summer mourning with you, that doesn't mean we're now keen on becoming best friends forever.

The reality is, TV has been scraping the bottom of the reality barrel for some time now, and the golden age of an Omarosa or a Richard Hatch or even a Jason (The Bachelor) Mesnick is finally behind us.

More and more, it seems, reality shows have become a beacon for those with checkered pasts whose criminal records somehow managed to go unchecked despite being required to fill out reams of legal documents that are part of the selection process.

It's not like we'll be lacking for villains or anything.

Back in the day before networks discovered "unscripted" meant not having to shell out the dough for the real deal, there were honest-to-goodness TV writers who would pluck unsavory characters everybody loves to hate from their own fertile imaginations.

And there were trained professionals who knew how to play them to the hilt without cracking under all that media scrutiny.

We could do with a major cast change.

So, c'mon, Jon, Kate and Co., it really is time to pack your things and go.

And, hey, we wish you well in all your future endeavours.

We just don't want to hear about them.