Up and Autumn, TV fans.
It's true, television shows can debut or return at all points on the calendar these days. But fall still is king in terms of sheer numbers.
Here's a brief look at most of the major entries on the grid over the next six weeks or so.
And as we always point out, the debut dates listed here are based on our best knowledge at press time. It's fairly rare this late in the game, but sometimes networks change their minds based on a variety of factors, or events beyond the networks' control can intercede.
So if you're really looking forward to something, double-check your local listings a week before your favourite show initially was scheduled, OK?
Just trying to keep everyone happy ... and calm ... and not mad at me. I have this intense desire to be liked. Is that wrong?
EVERYONE'S FRIENDLIEST ENEMY
1. The Jay Leno Show
(NBC/Citytv Sept. 14).
A list of one. You know, even some of the writers and producers of dramas on Leno's own network hope he falls flat. Kind of makes us want him to succeed, actually.
INTRIGUING RETURNING DRAMAS
1. Dexter (TMN/MC Sept. 27).
Looking for a return to form with Jimmy Smits thankfully gone and John Lithgow on board. Nothing against Smits as an actor, but his character was ridiculously unbelievable, even in this world of functional serial killers.
2. The Mentalist
(CTV Sept. 22, CBS Sept. 24).
Simon Baker vehicle was one of the few new shows last season that legitimately could be classified as a hit.
3. Grey's Anatomy
(ABC/CTV Sept. 24).
On your mark ... get set ... start your crazy whining, Katherine Heigl!
4. Lie to Me
(Fox/Global Sept. 28).
This show, starring Tim Roth, got better as its rookie season progressed. Quit staring at us, we're not lying.
INTRIGUING RETURNING COMEDIES
1. The Office
(NBC/Global Sept. 17).
Insiders say this could be a tough year romantically for Michael Scott, played by Steve Carell. However, new receptionist Erin, played by Ellie Kemper, will have suitors galore.
2. 30 Rock
(NBC/Citytv Oct. 15).
We've seen the Beatles version of Rock Band, but when does Tracy's porn videogame come out?
3. The Big Bang Theory
(CBS/A Sept. 21).
Super-geek Sheldon, played by Jim Parsons, just keeps getting funnier and funnier.
4. Curb Your Enthusiasm
(HBO Canada Sept. 20).
Cast of Seinfeld is reunited as fictionalized versions of themselves. Wild guess: It will not go well.
INTRIGUING NEW DRAMAS
1. FlashForward
(ABC/A Sept. 24).
The entire world loses consciousness for two minutes 17 seconds. Didn't something like that happen at the end of The Sopranos?
2. V (ABC/A Nov. 3).
Why can't aliens, just for once, be legitimately friendly, rather than always evil-friendly?
3. Eastwick (ABC/A Sept. 23).
Based on The Witches of Eastwick, with Canadian Paul Gross in Jack Nicholson role. Fun pilot, but is it a series?
4. NCIS: Los Angeles
(CBS/Global Sept. 22).
Don't mess with LL Cool J.
5. The Good Wife
(CBS/Global Sept. 22).
Julianna Margulies as the wife of disgraced New York governor Eliot Spitzer, kinda sorta.
INTRIGUING NEW COMEDIES
1. Community
(NBC/Citytv Sept. 17).
Misfits of all ages -- including Joel McHale and Chevy Chase -- attending community college. The pilot was freakin' hilarious.
2. Modern Family
(ABC/Citytv Sept. 23).
Edgy look at how three very different families -- traditional mom-dad-kids, same-sex couple and second-marriage survivors -- combine to make one big crazy clan.
3. The Middle (ABC Sept. 30).
Yes, it's a Malcolm in the Middle ripoff, with Patricia Heaton. But recall, Malcolm in the Middle was pretty damn funny.
4. Cougar Town
(ABC/Citytv Sept. 23).
Courteney Cox sets her sights on younger men. Grrrrrrrr.
5. Bored to Death
(HBO Canada Sept. 20).
Not sure what to make of this very odd series, with Jason Schwartzman and Ted Danson. We're curious enough to want to see more, though.
NEW, BUT NOT SO FUNNY
1. Brothers (Fox Sept. 18).
This was perhaps the worst pilot we've seen. Ever. But Americans love football and ex-pro Michael Strahan is in this, so who knows?
2. Hank (ABC Sept. 30).
Yo, Kelsey Grammer, if you're going to keep playing slightly askew versions of Frasier, just go back to playing Frasier already.
3. Accidentally on Purpose (CBS/Citytv Sept. 21).
Jenna Elfman as another Dharma clone. Sign me up -- not.
OTHER NEW DRAMAS
1. Mercy (NBC/Citytv Sept. 23).
More medical mumbo jumbo.
2. Trauma
(NBC/Citytv Sept. 28).
More medical mumbo jumbo.
3. Three Rivers (CBS Oct. 4).
More medical mumbo jumbo.
4. The Beautiful Life
(CW/A Sept. 16).
More insight into models. Hasn't reality TV cornered this market?
5. The Forgotten
(ABC Sept. 22).
We forgot already.
COMEDY OR DRAMA? YOU DECIDE
1. Weeds (Showcase Sept. 13).
Mary Louise Parker's character, Nancy Botwin, was pregnant with a criminal's child as last season ended. A baby ought to stabilize Nancy's life, right?
2. Desperate Housewives (ABC/CTV Sept. 27).
Past its prime, but still occasionally can pack a punch. And let's make Dana Delany's character evil again, dammit!
3. Bones
(Global Sept. 16, Fox Sept. 17).
An underrated show with two great leads in David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel.
4. Castle (ABC/A Sept. 21).
Also underrated, with two Canadians -- Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic -- in the spotlight.
OTHER RETURNING COMEDIES
1. How I Met Your Mother (CBS/Citytv Sept. 21).
2. Californication
(TMN/MC Sept. 28).
3. Two and a Half Men
(CBS/A Sept. 21).
4. Parks and Recreation
(NBC/Citytv Sept. 17).
5. Ugly Betty
(ABC/Citytv Oct. 9).
6. The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS Sept. 23).
7. Saturday Night Live
(NBC/Global Sept. 26).
8. SNL Weekend Update Thursdays
(NBC/Global Sept. 17).
9. Gary Unmarried
(CBS Sept. 23).
10. Til Death (Fox Oct. 2).
OTHER RETURNING DRAMAS
1. House (Fox/Global Sept. 21).
2. Brothers and Sisters
(ABC/Global Sept. 27).
3. Gossip Girl (CW/A Sept. 14).
4. Dollhouse
(Fox/Global Sept. 25).
5. Heroes
(NBC/Global Sept. 21).
6. Crash
(SuperChannel Sept. 23).
7. Southland
(NBC/CTV Sept. 25).
8. Private Practice
(ABC/A Oct. 1).
9. One Tree Hill
(CW Sept. 14).
EARLY BIRDS
1. Glee
(Fox/Global, debuted last week).
2. Mad Men
(AMC, debuted last month).
3. The Vampire Diaries
(CW/CTV debuted last week).
4. Melrose Place
(CW/Global debuted last week).
5. 90210
(CW/Global debuted last week).
6. Supernatural
(CW debuted last week).
ANIMATION SATURATION
1. The Simpsons
(Fox/Global Sept. 27).
2. Family Guy
(Fox/Global Sept. 27).
3. The Cleveland Show
(Fox/Global Sept. 27).
4. American Dad
(Fox/Global Sept. 27).
5. Glenn Martin DDS
(Citytv Oct. 3).
RETURNING PROCEDURALS
1. CSI (CBS/CTV Sept. 24).
2. CSI: Miami
(CBS/CTV Sept. 21).
3. CSI: New York
(CBS/CTV Sept. 23).
4. NCIS (CBS/Global Sept. 22).
5. Criminal Minds
(CBS/CTV Sept. 23).
6. Law & Order
(NBC/A Sept. 25).
7. Law & Order: SVU
(CTV Sept. 22, CBS Sept. 23).
8. Cold Case
(CBS/CTV Sept. 27).
9. Numb3rs
(CBS/Global Sept. 25).
RETURNING GHOSTS 'N' SCI-FI
1. Fringe (Fox/A Sept. 17).
2. Ghost Whisperer
(CBS/CTV Sept. 25).
3. Medium (CBS/A Sept. 25).
4. Smallville (CW Sept. 25).
5. Sanctuary (Space Oct. 9).
6. Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Teletoon Oct. 4).
