The Kardashians should come with a spoiler alert. After all, when watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians, how can you not know everything that's going to happen? (Short of unplugging yourself from all media and avoiding the daily deluge of Kim/Kanye/Khloe/Kylie/Kris news.) But hey - when you have nothing else to watch, it'll do. So this week, Kris was getting the nursery ready for Kim and Kanye's baby (hey, wonder what they'll name him/her ...) and Kendall was having a fit, convinced her summer will be ruined with a baby in the house. Her solution? Move out at 17, to which Kris said no. But when Kris caught poor Kylie eating a sandwich in the car because it's the only place to be alone, she decided to rent them a beach house. Problems solved!
It was a recap show on Catfish and we were definitely wondering where some of the online lovebirds ended up. Lauren and Derek, one of the most successful couples, are still doing well and going strong as a pair. Aww. We catch up with sweetheart Jen, whom we saw on one of the later episodes, to see she's doing fine. D-bag Bryan refused to be on the show. Figures. The weirdest couple of the night? Ramon and Loyda. Those two uber-liars still seem to be as sketchy as ever and it's unclear if they're still actually friends or not. We'll probably never really know what went down with those two.
Mind over matter ... sometimes
Brains over brawn continues to be the lesson on The Amazing Race Canada but, sometimes the smart teams still fall short. Hal and Joanne -- a.k.a Team BodyBreak -- started off strong by getting onto a sold-out flight. When it came to digging through lentils, Jet and Dave killed it while Hal and Joanne and Brett and Holly decided to take a two-hour penalty instead of finishing the challenge. When the two Tims then decided to use the double U-Turn on Hal and Joanne, it was game over for the BodyBreak duo; with the two-hour penalty, they didn't stand a chance.
Tail of two birds
Krissi and Natasha continued their battle on MasterChef -- a battle that never really ends in an elimination. Things appeared to take a turn when Krissi won the T-Bone steak challenge -- setting the stage for Natasha to get the boot. But Jessie and Jordan ended up in the bottom two instead, with Jessie cooking plain old chicken and Jordan plating some tricky quail. Jessie's chicken was bland and dry (odd, since she has Southern roots) while Jordan's bird was rubbery and raw. And we all know what raw means to the judges: Buh-bye. Krissi was left disappointed, to say the least.
It was time for us to meet our first Big Brother jury member, either Spencer or Jessie. McCrae told Jessie she was safe but, we all know that means absolutely nothing. Instead of calming down, Jessie ran around to everyone in the house trying to "make peace" but actually accomplished the opposite. She told Amanda that Helen and Elissa wanted her gone, then Amanda told the other girls, and the drama escalated from there. Every single person voted to evict Jessie. Lesson of the day? Keep low when people tell you to keep low.
Power move of the week:
Jet and Dave calling a cab for Brett and Holly to the airport on The Amazing Race Canada. The boys realized they may need some help from Team Doctors later on in the competition.
Biggest surprise of the week:
Jordan leaving MasterChef. That guy was good. Really good. He was pegged to be a top contender for sure, at least more than James and Luca were.
Quote of the week:
"You haven't done anything intelligent all week, and I don't expect you to start now." Spencer to Andy in his Big Brother Veto speech. Was he joking or not?
Where are they now:
Chris, the winner of the very recent Bachelorette, is publishing his poetry to Desiree in an eBook. Cute or cheesy?
Kendall and Kylie will continue to get their way if they just whine.