Lifelong friends Debbie & Bianca were eliminated on last night's "The Amazing Race." (Photo: Tony Esparza/CBS)

Debbie & Bianca, the last all-female team left in the running, bit off more than they could chew and were eliminated last night on “The Amazing Race.”

The leg began in Santiago, Chile, where Rob & Amber were the first to depart just after midnight. The clue told teams to hightail it more than 150 miles (about 241 kilometres) to Argentina via the Andes mountains. Also in the clue package was a heads-up for targeted team Rob & Amber: a Yield lurked in them thar hills.

Teams were forced to wait until 5 a.m. to pick up their marked cars. Debbie & Bianca chose to use the extra time to ask for directions. Good thinking—it’s forethought like this that gives a team the winning edge.

Debbie & Bianca plotted a route through the Andes at a nearby hotel while their cabbie waited outside. Fresh from a nap, Rob & Amber strolled right past the lifelong friends and straight to the waiting taxi. Rob offered to pay the cabbie more than twice what Debbie & Bianca had negotiated. After a brief moment in which the cabbie mentally tallied his newfound wealth, they took off in the purloined cab, leaving Debbie & Bianca to find a more loyal taxi driver.

At the stroke of 5 a.m., teams piled into their cars and soon left Santiago behind. In the lead, Rob & Amber easily found the exit for the Andes route, helpfully marked by a large blue sign that read "Los Andes." Soon everyone was cruising through the snow-covered peaks, in awe of the spectacular view from the serpentine roads that took them high into the mountains.

Well, almost everyone. Almost two hours behind, Susan & Patrick were still driving aimlessly around Santiago, thwarted by a "no left turn" sign. Debbie & Bianca were enjoying a scenic ride along the Pacific coast, heading two hours in the opposite direction on a route suspiciously lacking majestic mountains and large blue signs. So much for getting those directions. And so much for that Spanish!

Destination: PUENTE VIEJO (translation: an old bridge), ARGENTINA

Rob & Amber were the first team to arrive at the next clue box. Before they could continue, they were faced with the Yield. Host Phil Keoghan told us the Yield will show up three times on the race, and teams will only be able to use it once. Once yielded, the targeted team is forced to wait a predetermined length of time before continuing. Big surprise—leading team Rob & Amber decided against holding back another team. Why give those on the anti-“Survivor” train another reason to target them? Having rejected the Yield (as did, eventually, everyone else) Rob & Amber headed for the Detour: Paddle or Pedal.
Rating: B

In Paddle, teams had to brave 7 miles (about 11 kilometres) of white-water rapids with a crew of three professional rafters, travelling with the current on an inflatable raft. In Pedal, teams also travelled 7 miles, this time by bicycle. Both team members had to grab a mountain bike and follow the nearby train tracks to their next clue. Because riding on train tracks is always safe.

As Detours go, this was fairly routine. Teams came, teams paddled (or pedalled), teams left. Both tasks seemed physically demanding, though, and the paddling did make for some exciting inter-team competition. The course also allowed racers to appreciate the stunning Argentinean scenery. Well, except for Brian & Greg. They probably didn’t appreciate the stunning rocky terrain that contributed to their tire blow-out.

Ron & Kelly navigate the rapids in Mendoza, Argentina. (Photo: Tony Esparza/CBS)

First to finish the Detour were Lynn & Alex, spurred on by their Rob & Amber hatred and the intense pursuit music. Uchenna & Joyce and Ray & Deana had their own close pursuit, won by the married couple. Brian & Greg, the only team to choose the bikes, made it part way through the task before being sidelined by Brian’s flat tire. But that didn’t hold the brothers back; they simply picked up their bikes and jogged the rest of the way.

After the Detour, teams were told to drive to Camping Suizo, a barbecue pit in Mendoza, Argentina.

Destination: MENDOZA, ARGENTINA

The first team to arrive at the campsite was Lynn & Alex, who ripped open their clue to discover the Roadblock: Who’s Not a Vegetarian?
Rating: C

The carnivorous team member sat down to a traditional Argentine feast: four pounds (nearly two kilograms) of bovine intestine, rib, kidney, udder, and part of a saliva gland, plus pork sausage and blood sausage, all liberally seasoned with flies.

Eating tasks are generally middle-of-the-road, as “Amazing Race” tasks go. Learning about dinner and delicacies from other parts of the world is a plus. And the inevitable stew of vomiting, tears, and marathon-chewing makes for great TV, but it leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth (pun totally intended).

Besides, do average Argentineans really eat four pounds of meat at one sitting?

This task was spiced up (please don’t groan, our editors might wake up) when Rob quit, calculating that the ensuing four-hour penalty (to commence as soon as the next team arrived at the Roadblock) would take less time than scarfing the meat. Rob & Amber’s penalty countdown began when Ray & Deana arrived. Rob then guaranteed that he and Amber wouldn’t be eliminated when he convinced Deana (who was probably intimidated already, considering Lynn chanted “Go Deana, get your vomit” upon her arrival) to quit eating, too. Feeling safe in numbers, Meredith also quit. Deana and Meredith then had to wait for one of the missing teams—Susan & Patrick or Debbie & Bianca—to show up before their countdown clocks began.

Uchenna, who had been the sixth to start eating and only paused for a few caveman yells, finished first. Alex—the first to arrive and the first to barf—finished moments later.

Uchenna & Joyce and Lynn & Alex received their clues instructing them to drive to Estancia San Isidro, an Argentinean ranch and the Pit Stop for this third leg of the race.

Lynn & Alex drove their way to first place but didn’t win anything. The producers must have spent all the leg-prize money on Debbie & Bianca’s unprecedented cash prize in the first episode.

Unfortunately for Debbie & Bianca, the first-leg swag was all the prize money they were going to see. Despite catching up to the other teams at the feast and Debbie’s spirited, methodical meat-guzzling (she and Bianca chanted “shot, shot, shot” as she downed the cow chunks with chasers of water), the lifelong friends were left behind at the barbecue from hell as the penalized teams’ four hours expired and Patrick stopped whining and finished eating.

And so another season passes without an all-female team winning the million. All together, ladies, “I am woman, hear me…fizzle.” Oh well, maybe eighth time’s the charm.

TEAM RANKING
Lynn & Alex--FIRST
Performance rating: A+
This team deserved the win for their perseverance and Alex’s never-stop-eating attitude. Despite being slightly out of shape, the couple managed to paddle past front-running Rob & Amber out of sheer determination. Alex later mimicked Lynn’s encouraging command: “Alex (deep breath) we have to beat (deep breath) the ‘Survivors’.” They had plenty of opportunity to be exasperated with each other, particularly when Lynn unwisely told Alex to throw up the meat if he needed to make some room, but the couple kept their cool and their sense of humour.

Greg contemplates life as a vegetarian during the Roadblock in Mendoza. (Photo: Tony Esparza/CBS)

Uchenna & Joyce--SECOND
Performance rating: A
Finally! The married couple got some significant air time, and hey, look, they have some personality! They were worried about their marriage at the start of the race, but there doesn’t seem to be a problem now. Uchenna called Joyce “one hot chick” after they paddled the raft, and she made him laugh by offering him a mint after the meat-eating task. Trouble making babies? Not anymore! Woohoo! (Cue disco music.)

Brian & Greg--THIRD
Performance rating: A-
It’s amazing what a taste of elimination will do to you, eh, Brian? The brothers made up for a disappointing leg last week by jumping to third place, despite the attempts Brian’s bike made to hold them back. Not even the daunting Roadblock could stop them (“Four pounds of meat is nothing, buddy.”) This is one of the few teams that really seems to be enjoying the race, and their enthusiasm definitely paid off this round. Bonus points for conquering the menacing mountain of meat.

Ron & Kelly--FOURTH
Performance rating: C
Boring. They seem to have taken Uchenna & Joyce’s place as the team with the least air time. Maybe it has something to do with Ron’s inability to say something other than “When I was in an Iraqi prison…” Oh, wait. Kelly, upon seeing the Andes’ breathtaking vista in Argentina, said, “When I think of heaven, this is what I think of.” Nope, got that right. BO-RING! Seems like the other teams feel the same way: after cheering when Greg finished eating, the penalized teams didn’t cheer for Ron when he finished. At least he’s got Kelly to say, “Yay for Ron!” Alone. And giggling self-consciously as she realized how lame that sounded. Ouch. American flags are wilting everywhere.

Rob & Amber--FIFTH
Performance rating: A
Bonus points for making “The Amazing Race” about strategy. Minus points for making “The Amazing Race” not about racing. While completing tasks is the purest form of racing, it’s impressive to see someone figure out the loopholes of the game and play accordingly. And anyone who makes Phil laugh deserves an A. It was also great to see Rob strategically quit the Roadblock and manipulate other teams to follow suit. As Rob so eloquently put it, “I found a way to plot and scheme in ‘The Amazing Race.’”

Ray & Deana--SIXTH
Performance rating: C+
These two weren’t around much this week, popping up only occasionally to squabble and fall prey to Rob’s meat manoeuvrings. They ran a satisfactory leg but dropped three spots from last week. Fortunately, luck was on their side: had the two last-place teams not suffered from navigation problems, they could have been facing elimination.

Meredith & Gretchen--SEVENTH
Performance rating: C+
Ray & Deana, the older generation—but with less bickering and more complaining (Gretchen, this means you). They ran essentially the same leg as the on/off dating couple, but managed to stay in seventh place. Which, technically, is worse since they’re one step closer to elimination than when they placed seventh on the previous leg…but hey, way to go!

Susan & Patrick--EIGHTH
Performance rating: C-
It took them one hour and forty minutes to get out of Santiago. Then Patrick wimped out at the Roadblock. Mom, can’t you see the boy needs some sympathy? At LEAST four pounds of sympathy, Mom! At LEAST. Since an all-female team can’t win this season, maybe this team will achieve another first by being the first mother-son team to win “The Amazing Race.” Or maybe they’ll be the first team on “The Amazing Race” to spend an entire leg driving around in circles.

Debbie & Bianca--LAST
Performance rating: B
Two hours in the wrong direction? You’d think the vast expanse of the Pacific to their left and the mysterious lack of MOUNTAINS might have tipped them off. What were they researching in that hotel, a beach vacation? Except for that one major mistake, the lifelong friends ran a good leg. Debbie faced the rafting task despite her near-death experience in the same activity just months earlier. They managed to make up for lost time, catching up to Susan & Patrick at the Roadblock. And at the feast, Debbie rocked the eating task and almost caught up to Patrick. Unfortunately for them, she didn’t. But hey, at least they have their $20,000 and their undying love for each other.

Next time on “The Amazing Race”:

Rob & Amber attempt an aggressive move. Amber: “If we caught up [to them], they would die.” Rob: “Who cares? They’re striving to be like us.” Joyce takes a wild ride. And finally, Deana breaks down. So, really, nothing new.

TRAVEL LOG

Approximate distance travelled: 250 kilometres

Destinations:
South America