Mother-son team Susan & Patrick were eliminated last night in Vicente Casares, Argentina. (Photo: Tony Esparza/CBS)

Susan & Patrick proved family and travel don’t mix when the mother-son team became the fourth pair to be eliminated last night on “The Amazing Race.”

Teams started the leg in Mendoza, Argentina. Lynn & Alex ripped open their clue just before 4 a.m. and discovered the next task was to drive themselves 25 miles (40 kilometres) to a ranch in La Lunta, Argentina, known as Cabaña La Guatana. The four teams who ploughed through the meat pile in last week’s episode (except for back-of-the-pack Patrick) enjoyed at least a three-hour lead over the next team to depart, Rob & Amber, who had quit the gastronomic challenge and incurred a time penalty. So this leg was theirs for the taking, barring any sort of bunching, botched navigation, or bad luck. And we all know that those never happen on this show.

Destination: LA LUNTA, ARGENTINA

Arriving at the ranch, Lynn & Alex discovered the dreaded hours-of-operation sign, forcing them to wait until 6:30 a.m. What? South American horses aren’t awake before dawn? Lightweights.

Surprisingly, no other teams caught up to the couple by the time the ranch opened for business, allowing them to be the first to wrangle the Roadblock: Who’s Ready to Horse Around?
Rating: B-

The gaucho wannabe on each team had to weave around a line of barrels on horseback and spear a palm-sized ring that was hanging over the finish line, all under 40 seconds.

This task made a good Roadblock because it separated the do-or-die-ers (Joyce) from, well, the die-ers (cough, Deana, ahem, cough). It seems simple enough, but if you aren’t comfortable around animals—and we’ve seen this many times on “The Amazing Race”—this kind of task can be mentally unhinging. Tasks with animals reveal how much character the racers have: How do they deal with an uncontrollable factor?

Minus a few points because riding horses, while a huge part of Argentinean culture, isn’t an incredibly unique experience that screams Argentina.

As teams finished, they received the next clue instructing them to drive 25 miles (40 kilometres) to Mendoza Airport, where two pre-arranged flights (whatever happened to teams arranging their own flights?) would take the racers to Buenos Aires. The first flight left at 9:30 a.m. and the second one left at 2:30 p.m., creating a huge disadvantage for the second group.

Lynn & Alex, Uchenna & Joyce, Ron & Kelly, and Brian & Greg were excited to discover they were the only teams boarding the earlier flight. They were also gloating that their nemeses, Rob & Amber, hadn’t made it.

Except that they did.

The ultimate "Survivors," after getting lost on the way to the Roadblock, not only lucked their way to finding the ranch, but also lucked their way onto the plane, making it “by the skin of [their] teeth” and enjoying the great service of Aerolineas Argentinas employees who held the plane for them.

This rendered (you can never have too many meat puns) the meat-eating task pointless, as Rob’s quitting didn’t prevent his being on a level field with those who suffered through the challenge. Here’s hoping the plane was fully stocked with barf bags.

Kelly had just finished gloating that the Rob-less plane proved that persevering and never quitting reaps its rewards. What’s the lesson for today, kids? Persevering is good but calculating is better!

Destination: BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA

The first group arrived in Argentina’s capital at 11:30 a.m. and scrambled for taxis (with Rob & Amber in the lead) to take them to the English Clock Tower.

Lots of “we’re in a race rapido rapido help us get a million dollars but you won’t get any” blather to the cab drivers and then teams arrived, looking for Zorro. Well, a man in a raincoat, but really, the dude was wearing all black, a cape-like raincoat, and some facial hair. Good to see the producers incorporate Argentinean culture here. Because men in black raincoats walking around a tower and looking bored definitely screams, “Argentina!”

Zorro’s clue instructed teams to take a train 20 miles (32 kilometres) to Tigre. Everyone in this bunch got on the same train. There was some Rob & Amber drama with Lynn & Alex, but really, when isn’t Christmas in December?

And then, five hours after the first group, the flight of the inescapably damned arrived in Buenos Aires. The three remaining teams--Ray & Deana, Meredith & Gretchen, and Susan & Patrick--dashed to their taxis and headed towards the English Clock Tower. Teams grabbed clues and were off to catch the train to Tigre.

Destination: TIGRE, ARGENTINA

Brian & Greg try not to swamp the boat in Tigre, Argentina. (Photo: courtesy CBS.com)

Meanwhile, the teams with a five-hour lead had long before arrived at the Detour: Shipwreck or Island.
Rating: B-

In Shipwreck, teams boarded a motorized dinghy with a crew of two and had to search a seven-square-mile ship graveyard (roughly 18 square kilometres) for a shipwrecked boat. Their only clue was a 30-year-old photo, showing the ship in its prime, mid-1970s glory—sadly, no shag carpeting or eye-searing neon. In Island, teams boarded the same boats and headed 4 miles (roughly 6 kilometres) through the maze-like delta to the San Antonio river. There, they would find an island, marked with a red star on their map.

This Detour followed a standard formula used often on this show: search a large area for something specific, or travel a set distance (usually farther away) to a marked clue box. Not particularly exciting, especially since it took teams about the same time to do either task. At least the Shipwreck clue with the 30-year-old photo was somewhat challenging, and it did give the task some local colour. It would have been nice had the teams not been stuck with the worst fleet in Tigre. Maybe then the outcome wouldn’t have been entirely based on the luck of the draw.

Lynn & Alex and Rob & Amber were the first teams to start the Detour. Lynn & Alex, hatred for Rob & Amber fully-charged and ready to go, were eager to be off and leave the “survivors” in their wake. Unfortunately for them, luck had decided to board Rob & Amber’s boat. It wasn’t long before Lynn & Alex were drifting aimlessly through the delta, with wet feet and a dead motor.

Rob & Amber, also suffering from a cracked but still-floating boat, pressed on and soon found the shipwrecked sailor with their next clue. Or, as Rob dubbed him, the “Old Man and the Sea.” Poor guy—30 years on a boat, and all he gets is a Hemingway reference? What, no extra Bosox caps on board, Rob? No wonder the sailor decided to stay on the boat.

Anyway, the clue told them to head to the Pit Stop: La Martina, a polo club 35 miles (about 56 kilometres) away in Vicente Casares. And according to host Phil Keoghan, it’s the most prestigious polo club in all of Argentina—he’s expecting everyone to be on their very best behaviour.

Meanwhile, Uchenna & Joyce were having some problems finding the shipwreck, but luck, having done all it could for Rob & Amber this leg, helped them stumble across the Island clue instead. Brian & Greg and Ron & Kelly found their clues without incident (Shipwreck and Island, respectively) and they too were on their way.

Lynn & Alex, however, were as good as sunk. Forced to call another boat, they now trailed the leading teams. Dejected (and no doubt cursing Rob & Amber the entire time), they snatched the Island clue and took off for the Pit Stop.

Destination: VICENTE CASARES, ARGENTINA

Rob & Amber were first to arrive, welcomed by Phil, a bored horse, and a local horse wrangler. Bitter rivals Lynn & Alex arrived in fifth—seems all that hate was weighing them down.

And thus ended another exhilarating leg of…what, we’re not done yet? Oh, right. Back at the Detour, the trailing teams were finally showing up, probably just as the five leading teams were settling down to some dinner (barbecue, anyone?).

All three teams began their search at about the same time. Lucky for them, the boats were still afloat. Ray & Deana were the first to find the Island clue, and on their way back out of the delta, they passed a lost Meredith & Gretchen. Trying to be crafty, Gretchen told her helmsman to follow Ray & Deana’s boat, hoping they’d be taken directly to the clue. Ray & Deana were only too happy to lead them astray.

Off on another part of the river, Susan & Patrick were puttering along nicely until their boat also decided to call it quits. Patrick was ready to give up and head for home, but Susan was still optimistic.

Eventually, both Meredith & Gretchen and Susan & Patrick found their way out of the delta (after the mother-son team were rescued by yet another boat). Both teams raced for the Pit Stop, but ultimately it was the ever-hopeful Susan and pessimistic Patrick who faced the dreaded elimination.

Whatever happened to that "never give up" attitude, Patrick?

TEAM RANKING

Rob & Amber—FIRST
Performance rating: B+
They performed their tasks efficiently and continued to enjoy themselves, even when their boat cracked (though not enough to put it out of commission). But, as Rob said, showing great self-awareness, they “just get lucky.” Horseshoes up his ass, indeed. They were lost and a little lackadaisical about finding the Roadblock at the beginning of this leg, but then they just happened to drive right up to it. After finishing the Roadblock at 9 a.m. they knew they had to book it to the airport to make the first flight leaving at 9:30. But they sauntered out of their car at the airport and then the airline employees held the plane for them. This team works hard at every task, but they seem to rely on luck in between. Unfortunately for Lynn & Alex, luck isn’t running out for the “survivors” anytime soon. It seems appropriate that Rob gave his Boston Red Sox hat to his skipper, considering the Bosox story is all about luck…and a chubby guy who haunts those who underestimate him.

Joyce gets back in the saddle in La Lunta , Argentina. (Photo: courtesy CBS.com)

Brian & Greg—SECOND
Performance rating: A
Good leg for the brothers. Brian posted one of the fastest times at the horse Roadblock, they passed three teams at the Detour, and ultimately ended up in second place. Looks like they carried out their “mission to make no mistakes”—well, except for missing the exit on the way to their first task. But we’ll just forget about that one.

Uchenna & Joyce—THIRD
Performance rating: A-
Bonus points for Joyce’s determination at the Roadblock and Uchenna’s encouragement and belief in his wife. Ray & Deana: take notes, please. Uchenna’s term of endearment this week? Babycakes. One problem: there is way too much footage of this team asking for directions. Are they really that bad at navigating or are they always second-guessing themselves? Either way, they need to travel more efficiently because travelling efficiently is conducive to racing. One would say that they are synonymous and interdependent, one would.

Ron & Kelly—FOURTH
Performance rating: C
Nothing new to report, sir! Team America is as boring as ever, sir, yessir! Military reference of the episode came in before the 30-minute mark, sir! Ron said, “Coming from the military…” and then the rest was tuned out, sir! Yessir, used the mental-blocking technique designed to prevent annoying, repetitive, patriotic, self-important blather from entering the ear canal, sir!

Lynn & Alex—FIFTH
Performance rating: C+
Their focus on Rob & Amber is still amusing but starting to grate. Stop making us laugh and grit our teeth at the same time, guys! It hurts! While their snippiness gave us great zingers like “[Rob & Amber] are like an STD: you’ve got to protect yourself from them,” it also provided many annoying whiny moments. The stress of thinking evil thoughts about Rob & Amber has resulted in them not being as positive as they have been on previous legs. At least Lynn stopped complaining at the Pit Stop long enough to realize that “luck is part of the game” and broken-down boats aren’t Rob’s fault. At least, we’re pretty sure they aren’t.

Ray & Deana—SIXTH
Performance rating: C
Same placement as last week, but it’s not like they had any chance to catch up. Points off for their supremely unpleasant behaviour. Their sixth-place finish especially irritated Ray; he’s so embarrassed to be at the back of the pack with the “bottom feeders” and the “old people” that he seems to have some sort of personal vendetta against Meredith & Gretchen. Hate to break it to you, Ray, but if you’re one of the teams in last place, you ARE a bottom feeder. Strangely enough, Ray’s strategy to yell and get mad at everything in his way (including his teammate) doesn’t seem to be helping.

Meredith & Gretchen—SEVENTH
Performance rating: C+
Apparently, they’re just trying to keep up with the young people. Well, they accomplished that this leg, but barely. Although they were able to pass Ray & Deana at the Roadblock (good riding, Clint, er, Meredith) they were easily confused by the Detour, going so far as to try to follow another team to the clue. That sort of racing never gets anyone far, as they soon found out. It’ll be incredible if this team makes it across the Atlantic. Maybe Gretchen’s problem is that she’s too preoccupied with sex talk to race properly. Last week it was mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and some sly “I make it up to him in other ways” remarks. This week? The good ol’ ménage à trois. Hope Meredith packed his vitamins.

Susan & Patrick—LAST
Performance rating: D+
Patrick, if you want to avoid embarrassing moments so desperately, it might be best not to mention your painful crotch to millions of viewers on national TV. Their last-place finish wasn’t much of a surprise—this team seemed destined for elimination sooner rather than later. They’d been trailing for a number of legs, were prone to wandering off course, and didn’t seem to be getting along very well with each other—and this was before jet lag. Major points off to Patrick for giving up when all looked hopeless (second time in as many legs). As any “Amazing Race” fan knows, NEVER GIVE UP. There’s always that chance that something will unexpectedly delay another team and put you back in the running. And haven’t you heard of non-elimination rounds? Sometimes mom really does know best.

Next time on “The Amazing Race”:

A special two-hour episode. Probably to include all the hospital stays for:

Gretchen, who takes a tumble and ends up with either a bloody head or head soaked in molasses. Either way, it doesn’t look good. Brian & Greg, their sound guy, and their cameraman, all who experience life in a washing machine (i.e. their car flips).

And then there are those teams who insist on racing safely:

Uchenna & Joyce get emotional at an orphanage and experience “the most special moment…in the entire race.” Ray and Deana take the high road in a task (don’t look down!).

TRAVEL LOG

Approximate distance travelled: 1,200 kilometres

Destinations:
South America