If you've watched American Idol at all this season, you've probably asked yourself the following question: Is Paula Abdul high?
The erratic behaviour of the Love Judge -- once accused of sleeping with a contestant -- has been burning up blogs all season. It's not just that she babbles sweet nothings on the show instead of offering any criticism (basically, that's her job; she's there to take the sting out of blunt Brit Simon Cowell). It's not even that she's been slurring her words or getting all gooey over male contestants (still). It is the extent to which she's been acting out away from the show. It is almost as if she was crying out for an intervention no one seems interested in extending.
Idol has always feasted on controversy and Abdul is their go-to girl for bizarre behaviour. So far, she's the Teflon TV star, surviving scandal, hit-and-run driving charges (she served "informal probation") and even an ABC News smear (last season's Fallen Idol). Her fans seem ready to forgive the former dancer any misstep. We love her because she has kin in Canada (her mom's from Winnipeg). But Abdul seems just a Betty Ford away from the one viewer reaction Fox probably fears the most: Pity. Let's look at the evidence:
THE INCIDENT: On April 2, Abdul claimed she sustained a concussion and spinal injuries after been assaulted at a Hollywood party. She filed a police report, saying a man grabbed her by the arm and threw her against a wall. Photos on the Internet show Abdul lying on the ground.
CONFLICTING REPORT: About a week later, The New York Post ran a Page Six item suggesting there was no assault and Abdul was simply "falling down drunk." Unnamed witnesses told The Post she looked "out of it" that night. A lawyer for the man suspected of assaulting Abdul issued a statement saying the claim was "completely outrageous and utterly false," and that his client was "merely an innocent bystander at an unfortunate incident."
STATUS: The LAPD issued a statement saying they have no suspects even though there were many witnesses.
IDOL IMPACT: Two days after the alleged incident, Abdul was back on American Idol, as chirpy and loopy as ever. Ratings that week topped 30 million U.S. viewers.
RESULT: Abdul was signed for three more seasons.
THE FLIGHT RISK: Abdul ran afoul of Homeland Security this year when she took a pre-boarding short cut. To save time and avoid baggage checks, the tardy Idol judge was escorted by an airline official through a back access onto a plane. Once it landed in Burbank, all the passengers had to undergo a second security check.
THE CONSEQUENCES: None.
THE ABSOLUTION: Weeks after an internal Fox investigation cleared her of any contestant hanky panky, Dr. Phil McGraw (who "cleansed" Pat O'Brien after his phone sex scandal) counseled Abdul in the brazen Valentine's Day special Love Smart. Dr. Phil's goal: To find the American Idol judge a man who would be comfortable with her fame and wasn't "overwhelmed by her emotions." Whatever happened to "Get Real?"
THE EXCUSE: Blame Cowell. "He's worse than ever," Abdul told In Touch Weekly. She claimed Cowell "is whispering things in my ear, like, 'What's the price of beans?' Things that make no sense at all."
THE LATEST: Abdul is feuding with Ryan Seacrest. "It's awkward. I don't know what the deal is. It's very awkward," Seacrest told People Magazine last month. The two aren't speaking, he says. He ignored her on last week's show.
THE BACK STORY: Things went south after Abdul went on The Tonight Show and goofed on Seacrest's supposed relationship with Teri Hatcher. "He only kisses the mirror," she told Jay Leno. "And honestly, do you think Teri Hatcher is that desperate of a housewife?"
THE RESULT: After dipping slightly the week before, last week's Fox audience was back over 28 million viewers. Mission accomplished.
