  Haley Scarnato. |
Apparently pre-teen girls don't like being outshined.
What else could explain the total miscarriage of justice which occurred on American Idol last night? After 35 million votes were counted, sexy singer and promotional dream Haley Scarnato was given the boot, while the train-wreck that is Sanjaya Malakar escaped the bottom three - once again.
Now to be fair, Malakar did give a decent performance this week, singing a fine version of Besame Mucho that even led to a sincere compliment by Idol judge Simon Cowell.
"I'm going to hate myself for this - it wasn't terrible," the speaker of all truth said.
As for Scarnato, her downfall likely came as a result of Cowell's harsh criticism of her skimpy outfits. He sealed her fate when he suggested she remained in the competition strictly because of her long legs and stunning good looks. Because, if we've learned anything from the Sanjaya scandal, it's that Americans really, really don't like being told they are superficial.
On With The Show
Last night was all about Jennifer Lopez (apparently her new Spanish-language CD is not doing so hot) and trying to fill a full-hour result's show.
So what's Fox to do with all that extra time?
Pan-in on all the celebrities (Sharon Osbourne and Eva Longoria) in the audience - check.
Talk about the $10,000 give-away contest (trivia question - What performer sang with Meatloaf on last season's finale?) - check. Go to a local Farmer's Market and ask people to tell you why your show is so great - check. Make up a corny skit about Tony Bennett trying out for Idol and being told he is worst singer, then throw in another "the other door" joke - check.
The rest of the hour was filled with more of the same nonsense. Akon performed in what was a highlight of the show, before viewers were subjected to a creepy Idol/Ford commercial in which the contestant's faces morphed into one another's. Yes Sanjaya did become Melinda for all those who thought their minds were playing horrendous games on them.
Then it was time to show Cowell's sensitive side by airing a clip of him interacting with poor African children, while trying to raise money for a school in a box. (That is a bunch of school supplies that are packaged in a box - not to be mistaken for Justin Timberlake's box).
Everything was going along swimmingly until one of kids drew a picture of him with man boobs.
"Even in Africa they think you need a bra," Ryan Seacrest commented in one of his more shinning moments.
Jenny From the Block
After waiting nearly 45 minutes for something of any entertainment value, finally it was time to get down to business. The bottom three were announced - Scarnato, Phil Stacey and Chris Richardson - then it was all about J-Lo.
Starting off with a recap of Lopez's resume, the segment pretty much went like this: J-Lo gives a pep talk, something about how singing with passion is vitally important, before the contestants tell the cameras how great they think she is.
Then it's time for the live performance. Backed by eight very sexy dancers, Lopez belted out an upbeat Spanish tune from her new disc as smoke filled the air. The judges gave her a standing ovation as did the audience and all was well in Idol land.
Sanjaya, Sanjaya, Sanjaya
Malakar's fame must be going to his head. On top of thinking he can pull off the "KFC bowl" hairdo, he actually joked about asking Lopez for her number. Not even in a joke, Sanjaya. Not even a joke.
Next week is country music with Martina McBride. Haven't we already seen that?
