It's a sad, sad day for Lambert-maniacs, for it's Kris Allen who now holds the key to America's heart.
Jaws across the world simultaneously dropped last night, when the Arkansas boy-next-door became the eighth American Idol, earning the better of nearly 100 million votes to beat out megapopular glam-rocker Adam Lambert.
While many thought 27-year-old San Diego drama king Lambert was a shoo-in for the crown, it turns out nice guys don't always finish last.
"It feels good, but Adam deserved it," an equally shocked Allen, 23, stuttered when host Ryan Seacrest read the results. "I'm sorry, I don't even know what to feel right now. This is crazy."
A humble small-town newlywed with a penchant for crisp shirts and laid-back tunes, Allen is even less assuming than past good-boy winners Taylor Hicks and David Cook. Though he's got a face that teenage girls and their moms want to kiss -- and music industry folk could easily use to sell CDs. In fact, that will start today, when his winner's single No Boundaries hits the airwaves.
Many were shocked the dark horse even rode into the finale -- as raspy Danny Gokey was considered a frontrunner first. But with memorable covers of Donna Summer's She Works Hard for the Money, the Rat Pack's The Way You Look Tonight and Kanye West's Heartless under his belt, he quietly trotted in and stole the show.
Surely, Lambert will get over it. With his bold sense of style, funky everchanging hairdos (minus Sanjaya's tone-deafness), Freddie Mercury swagger and signature hair-metal scream, Lambert -- or Glambert -- became an icon long before Idol's final results came in.
And as always, it was a loooong wait to get said results on last night's two-hour-plus season finale.
In keeping with tradition, the whole Top 13 returned to perform together (a.ka. tout their upcoming U.S. tour), giving us a smiley happy rendition of Pink's So What. Also a finale must is the performance by the reigning Idol champ, and last year's beloved bartender David Cook was back to sing his new single Permanent -- a homage to his late brother, who died of cancer earlier this month.
After that, everyone needed a picker-upper -- something only Norman Gentle (aka Nick Mitchell) could deliver. The metallic-shirted comedian who somehow made the semifinals returned to pick up a Golden Idol Award for most oustanding male and sing his melodramatic rendition of And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going.
And of course, the evening wasn't without its celebrities -- many of whom duetted with members of the Top 13. Queen Latifah joined Lil Rounds, Jason Mraz dropped in to sing I'm Yours with Anoop Dawg and Alexis Grace, Allen went country with Keith Urban, Allison Iraheta teamed up with her fashion icon Cyndi Lauper, Danny Gokey and Lionel Richie made a fine pair, Lambert rocked out with some senior citizens posing as KISS, Michael Sarver and Megan Joy did a little ditty with Steve Martin (?!), the whole gang grooved with Carlos Santana and Allen and Lambert shared the spotlight with Queen. Plus there were the Black Eyed Peas and Rod Stewart and ... oh yes, it went on (and on).
It was all glorious, but the hands-down highlight of the night: Judge Kara DioGuardi's duet with Bikini Girl Katrina Darrell -- at the end of which she ripped open her dress to reveal ... a bikini! Turns out DioGuardi -- who claimed she stripped down on a dare -- has better chops AND comparable abs to Simon Cowell's favourite auditioner. (Though Darrell does have some perky, uh, accents we hadn't seen before. "I was going to ask you what's new but I think I know," Seacrest quipped.)
Shocking as it was, it was no match for the verdict that came in at the end of the night. Hopefully Allen wakes up this morning with a bigger ego. He's gonna need it now.
