August 26, 2005
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PARIS HILTON


TV Show: Canadian Idol

'Corpsey' shuffles off 'Idol' coil
By -- Edmonton Sun


Here's proof that the nefarious Canadian Idol "Vote for the Worst" (VFTW) campaign has had a negligible effect on the outcome - "Corpsey LeBland" is gone.

Corpsey - as she was cruelly dubbed by www.votefortheworst.com for her corpse-like stage presence - can go back to being a normal New Brunswick teenager named Casey LeBlanc. Canadian Idol can carry on promoting style over substance in the search for a star who values stardom over artistry. And VFTW can scramble to select a new champion from the remaining four contestants. How about Rex? He is the worst and paradoxically also seems to be the most popular. Perhaps a slight nudge is all he needs to go all the way. Let's work together on this.

Ah, it was a good run, though. Casey was the longest running VFTW contestant ever, though again I doubt it had any effect. She has some vocal talent that may blossom into diva-esque proportions in the years to come, but she proved to be an awkward and passionless performer on Canadian Idol. Still, she had far more "good" fans than "bad" fans. A good deal of Tuesday's "Guess Who" episode played like a VFTW audition. Poor song choices and laughable attempts at showmanship made the bad performances that much more entertainingly awful.

Casey picked one of Burton Cummings' more wan solo songs, Timeless Love, and what might've been an OK performance was obviously derailed by her own lurching dance moves. It was more painful to watch than it was to listen to.

Zack didn't pull any punches, for a change: "I think it was like watching paint dry."

Casey sassed back, "That can be fun, too."

Next came Sexy Rexy, opening the show with No Sugar Tonight. Although he did the "rock" thing and strode into the audience for a few high fives as he sang in his barking, bar singer tone, the performance was "stiff." It's the best word to describe Rex.

Jake didn't like it. Sass drooled (don't pull a Paula Abdul on us now, sister). Zack said he looked like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. Farley said he was stiff.

"I have a bad back," Rex sassed back.

Memo to contestants: Don't sass back. Look what happened to the talkative Joshy Palmer. VFTW, you backed the wrong horse. Oh, well.

Suzi Rawn didn't fare much better. She picked another obvious song, American Woman, but did the vastly inferior Lenny Kravitz version - and did it poorly. With potential power lost in her throat (singing lessons ought to clear that up), she stiffly strutted about the stage, did a few high kicks and unleashed rock 'n' roll grunts - "unh!" It was totally unconvincing.

Suzi's drawn a strange arc in this contest - started with good VFTW potential, showed flashes of greatness and now is sliding back down the slippery slope of schlock. Next week's theme is Elvis Presley and I can see the headline now: "Suzi has left the building."

Or maybe it'll be the other remaining female. Melissa O'Neil - who is maybe the most genuine of the bunch - made the fatal error of trying to rock out when her talents are clearly elsewhere. Overlooking some of the Guess Who's great ballads, she instead picked Burton's cheesy solo hit, My Own Way To Rock. The campy, limp performance was her worst yet.

The sole survivor of the gypsy curse of the Guess Who was Aaron Walpole, the "big man" previously carved in this space as a good VFTW candidate. Not anymore. I'm beginning to think he's the best. On the heels of bellowing the horrid Foreigner hit in the wretched "rock" episode, he picked the right song this time, These Eyes, and did a tremendous job. It was a flawless performance that threw his competitors into sharp, unflattering relief. VFTW is going to have a tough choice replacing Corpsey.





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