Parenting in this country has got to change.

Kids do not need their folks to be their BFFs. Instead, they need a swift kick in the butt and a heaping spoonful of truthfulness.

Otherwise, this growing epidemic, in which the country's youth have been brainwashed to believe they have the talent to actually be the next Canadian Idol, is sure to continue for years and years and years ...

Tuesday night's Idol premiere was jam-packed with these delusional offspring. There was the guy who smashed his guitar after being rejected and the one who threw a loonie in anger. That'll show those judges.

But the saddest of the bunch was Krista Poirier. The obviously home-schooled teen truly believed she was a hot dancer, showing the panel her hip-hop moves, which included a laughable moonwalk.

And her voice was even worse, leading many to predict she could become this year's Canadian William Hung. Thankfully for Poirier, and all the others who march to the same oblivious drum, our judges seem to have a tad more class than their American clones. Instead of embarrassing these kids, the panel tried desperately to come up with at least one nice thing to say before crushing their dreams on national TV.

Next week, it will be more of the same, just in different cities. Enjoy it now because soon all we'll have left is good singers, unless the Sanjaya gods shine some of their love on Canadian Idol.

Oh, we can only hope.

Canada's Next Top Model

One week after complaining her legs were too big, the judges sent the "fat" girl home. That's the only explanation why Jacqueline, a thin student from Vancouver, was kicked off the catwalk, after doing well in both photoshoots. While the judges argued she was too forgettable to be a top model, it seems an unlikely reason as many of the other girls proved to have zero charisma on film.

Pirate Masters

In the National Football League, Christian Okoye's large frame was a bonus. Not so much on a tiny pirate ship in the middle of nowhere. After proving to be more of a burden than a help during the challenge (swimming, running, fighting off snakes), the big teddy bear was cut adrift with only a few thousand in gold.

On the Lot

Thanks to a format change, none of the wannabe filmmakers were kicked off the Lot this week. But, if everything goes as expected, Hilary will be next. Her film, titled The First Time I Met the Finkelsteins, about a girl who meets her boyfriend's inappropriate parents, was dull, dull, dull. Even if this happened in "real life," it would hardly be worth mentioning.

So You Think You Can Dance 3

After 180 dancers were cut, the final 20 were revealed. Among the most memorable are Jessi Peralta, who started her group number from inside a small, zipped, suitcase, Ricky Palomino, who has a scary obsession with Cat Deeley, and sister of last season's winner Lacey Schwimmer, who has some mighty big shoes to fill.

Hell's Kitchen 3

Hell's Kitchen's season premiere had it all -- lots of tears, lots of screaming and too many f-bombs to count. When the smoke settled it was Tiffany, a 27-year-old kitchen manager from Arizona, who had her apron stripped from her. Apparently her inability to make appetizers was an issue.

America's Got Talent 2

An otherwise excruciating episode of mediocre talent was given some excitement by a Sharon Osbourne meltdown. The British mum of Kelly and Jack became outraged when fellow judge Piers Morgan insulted a 9-year-old girl named Breeze, who wrongly thought herself a good cheerleader. Osbourne reacted by throwing her judging cards, storming off stage and ripping off her fake eyelashes.

American Inventor 2

The only good thing about the new season of Inventor is George Forman. Among the many inventions he thought were fantastic were absorbent plugs for bleeding noses (think tampons for the nose), a stick-on bib for eating in the car and dish gloves with sponges on the outside. Maybe George has had a few too many punches to the head?