  Desperate Housewives. |
Here's tonight's listing for Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9 p.m.): "There's a change in Mama Solis' (guest star Lupe Ontiveros) condition; Lynette befriends a deaf woman, Alisa (guest star, Academy Award winning actress Marlee Matlin), whose children also attend Barcliff; Bree encounters more trouble with son Andrew; and Susan finds herself attracted to Edie's hunky new contractor (guest star Rick Ravanello)."
Nowhere does it say anything about Ben Mulroney interviewing Kalan Porter in Winnipeg.
But that's what viewers in Canada will see if they tune in to CTV's Desperate Housewives/Red Carpet pre-show. The 90-minute marketing opportunity/ dog's breakfast starts tonight at 7.
CTV, which owns the broadcast rights to Disney/ABC's Desperate Housewives in Canada, plans to mix two-parts drama, one-part red carpet show to come up with the 90-minute whatzit. Who knew those Disney folks were so loosey-goosey with their intellectual property? Thanks, Mickey.
The Mulroney moments will be dropped in throughout the 90 minutes, at the start or end of the Housewives' commercial breaks. One second you're watching Edie's hunky new contractor, the next, Neil Young.
Plus you'll get to sit through 33% more ads to get your full Housewives fix. The morph marathon will lead directly into CTV's Juno broadcast, airing on a half-hour tape delay beginning at 8:30 p.m. in Toronto.
Maybe CTV hopes adding Susan, Bree, Lynette, Gabrielle and Edie will make viewers forget all about the absence of Shania, Alanis, Avril and Diana Krall, all Juno no-shows (presumably staying home to watch Housewives uninterrupted at 9 on ABC).
Adding to the fun, members of the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees have struck a deal with CTV to allow a limited number of picketers near tonight's red-carpet area. (The IATSE local is steamed about losing Winnipeg staging work to a Vancouver-based firm.)
Talk about k-os (one of the Juno performers actually showing up).
It's shaping up as the train wreck TV event of the year. That's why I'm suggesting a Housewives-Hybrid Drinking Game.
Here's how it goes: Every time Tanya Kim mentions Canadian Idol, viewers at home have to chug a beer. If Mulroney asks any of Young, Randy Bachman or K.D. Lang who they are wearing -- shooters. There could be drinks for worst soap-to-'Peg segue. We can hear Ben now: "From Portage and Main to Wisteria Lane." This could be the best Desperate Housewives house party ever.
Pass the Cheetos.
