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Jon Dalton |
"Honestly, I'm one of the biggest scumbags you'll meet in real life. That's about it." They tell you never to begin a newspaper story with a quote, but in the spirit of infamous Survivor contestant Jon Dalton, sometimes the rules need to be bent.
You remember Dalton, better known by his self-appointed moniker Jonny Fairplay.
He was the skinny weasel with the curly blond hair who made it to Survivor: Pearl Islands' final three by manipulating, lying and backstabbing his way through the rest of the herd, the zenith of his deception coming when he pretended his grandma had died to gain sympathy with his fellow tribesmates. Nice.
He's also one of many reality TV alumni attempting to stretch out their 15 minutes of fame to almost absurd lengths.
But where some former reality stars have faded completely from view (what ever happened to our beloved Survivor cutie-pie Colleen Haskell?), Dalton is getting regular work, including a public appearance in Edmonton tonight alongside Jenna Lewis from the first season of Survivor.
"We've prepared something a little crazy," said Dalton of tonight's meet 'n' greet at the Standard nightclub on Calgary Trail. "Expect a little Jackass out there, a little Girls Gone Wild and a little Fairplay in between.
"People can expect a lot of insanity. Jenna is just as wild as I am, and we both love boobies."
In the skewed subculture of reality TV celebrities - itself a borderline oxymoron - Dalton is something of a superstar. To hear him tell it (and why would Jonny Fairplay lie?), he's got a part in upcoming movies with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Thora Birch, two different reality-based series on the way, and has to beat the women off him with a heavy stick.
Thing is, it's mostly plausible. Like all Survivor contestants, Dalton was shackled by a CBS contract until a year after the airing of the final episode of Survivor: Pearl Islands in December 2003. He's only been on the market, so to speak, for a few months. He also remains one of the best and most memorable players in Survivor's short history.
But Dalton isn't just a shameless self-promoter, he's a Jonny Fairplay evangelist. Would he have taken home the million-dollar jackpot on Survivor: Pearl Islands if scoutmaster Lillian Morris had chosen him instead of eventual winner Sandra Diaz-Twine for the final vote? Hell yeah!
"I know I would have won," Dalton said. "The only two people who would have voted for Lill would have been Sandra and Rupert (Boneham)."
Are Survivor: All-Stars' canoodling couple Rob and Amber, currently competing in The Amazing Race, a couple of hopeless dweebs? Of course!
"I think Amber is the most boring person to ever be born, and I think Rob is like everyone else from Boston - they learn 12 movie lines at the age of 15, and that's their entire personality," Dalton said.
Dalton, a regular on the TNA wrestling circuit in the U.S., pulls no punches when it comes to slagging those who have crossed his path. And none have crossed it so publicly as Survivor host Jeff Probst, who recently told Entertainment Weekly that Dalton is banned from any event that Probst attends.
"I didn't want to make it public, what happened," Dalton said of the feud between himself and Probst. "If he wants to put it out there, I'm more than happy to explain why it's so personal to him."
Please, Mr. Fairplay, continue. We'll keep a grain or two of salt handy, just in case.
And he did, but since we were unable to contact CBS and Probst's representatives before deadline to get their side of things, we figure there are some juicy stories that are best left untold, at least in a public forum.
If you want to ask Dalton about it yourself at tonight's show, though, be our guest.
"You wanna air your dirty laundry, guess what?" he said. "I got a washing machine right here."
The Survivor Club Tour with Jonny Fairplay and Jenna Lewis goes tonight at the Standard, 6107 104 St. Cover charge is $5. Call the club at 438-2582 for more information.
