CANOE -- JAM! Television - TV Shows - Survivor2: Australian Outback: Episode Three: Dog day afternoon

The golden rule of Survivor lives on in season two. The young must cannibalize the old. 'Mad Dog" Maralyn Hershey got spayed last night. She could have been the "Rudy" of the Australian Outback but two things collared her chances. One, she had a hard time competing in the physical challenges and therefore stood out as a weak link. Two, she like booted competitors Debb and Kel, targeted herself by defending Kel in last week's episode. Don't you think for a minute that the other Ogakor Crocs forgot about that little incident. How Maralyn scolded them like school children for ransacking Kel's bag. She was right. They were wrong. But, in Survivor's reality, morality is welcomed as much as an electric can opener. You don't need to call the Psychic Friends Network to know that the next time the Kucha Kangas are called for a special appearance atop that waterfall, Rodger Bingham will be sent packing too.

The remaining Survivors at the start of the show are:

Kucha Tribe

Ogakor Tribe

Kucha Tribe Happenings

Michael's goes all Lord Of The Flies on us. He's designated himself as Kucha's official pig hunter. It don't matter that nobody has seen or heard a single, solitary oink. If there is pork to be pulverized, Mikey's the man. Jeff has his doubts but hands over a spear he's been working on. Donning war paint to intimidate the little piggies, Mikey attaches the camp's only knife to the spear. Many of the Kucha Kangas aren't jumping for joy over this. "This is the pig killer!," Mikey proclaims holding up his weapon of mass destruction. "That's Plastic Mike," chimes in Jeff. "He's an idiot".

Ogakor Tribe Happenings

Tina gathers firewood and tell us she didn't think Survivor would be this "hard". What? Did she presume she'd be roasting marshmallows and singing campfire songs in the Australian Outback? Duh. The Crocs are fretting over their food supply. Colby, the best athlete in the group, is feeling the pressure to perform. No! Not in that way. Get your minds out of the gutter, people. He's aware the tribe is counting on him to pull them through the physical challenges and wonders will his stock decrease if he can't rise to the occasion. No! Not in that way. Oh, forget it. Nevermind.

Challenge Number One

Australia's version of the water torture. The tribes each select their strongest member to be their "water bearer". A "water loader" is also chosen. The "bearers" stand with a wooden balancing beam across their back. The idea is to weigh down the opposing team's "water bearer" with buckets of H20 until they collapse. To do so, the contestants must carry the buckets of water on similar balancing beams across their backs and carefully negotiate a balancing beam to reach their official "loader".

Reward

A professional fishing package with a net, line and lures.

Result

Colby and Michael are the "water bearers". Mikey's balancing beam breaks under the weight of the water buckets. Ogakor thinks they've won. No way, says Jeff. Since Mikey's broke and he didn't quit or submit to the weight, it doesn't count. There must be a run-off. The teams have five minutes to load up the "water bearers" with as many buckets as they can. In the end, Mikey shake, rattles and rolls right off the stand. Ogakor wins and the women screech like cats under a Mac Truck's wheels. "Good God! I don't want to hear them scream any more," grumbles Mikey The Pig Slayer as Kucha slinks off into the brush.

Winners: Ogakor.

Ogakor Tribe Happenings

Mitchell (The Tall One), Jerri (The EVIL One) and Amber (The Silent One) go fishing. Jerri can't understand Kel's problem because the fish are "leaping into the boat". Keith is all proud of himself as he fillets the catch and fails to notice that everyone is carefully watching and taking note of what he's doing and how he's doing it. Yep. The hour glass is running out on the Galloping Gourmet. Forgetting for a moment that he isn't in his "critically acclaimed" snack bar, Keith suggests making a batter out of the tribe's precious flour supply. Jerri dashes that bright idea...real quick. Everyone praises his meal and Keith feels confident that his position is secure. Mitchell says from watching Keith now, anyone in the tribe could prepare the fish. Uh-oh. Out of the pan and into the fire goes the Iron Chef.

We are treated to Maralyn's vocal stylings as she reclines in the "family hot tub". Tina joins her and praises her friendship with Mad Dog. Maralyn testifies that she trusts Tina but not Jerri. What's that about a pat on the back being eight inches from a kick in the pants, Maralyn? Doh!

In a scene guaranteed to make you dry heave, Jerri and Colby lie beside each other in the river and prattle on about food or something. Keith surmises that Jerri is "working" Colby. The night cam catches Jerri giving Colby a back massage in the shelter. Before we cut to commercial, the producers show us a spider spinning a web in a tree. Hmmm. What could it all mean? Man-eating spiders are closing in on the tribe? A camera man left his gear running as he took a leak? Hmmmm. I'm confused.

It rains hard one night and the tribe must stay up all night feeding the fire so it doesn't go out. By morning, they are exhausted. Mitchell feels weak as does Colby.

Kucha Tribe Happenings

Kimmi is making herself useful by retrieving water from the river and boiling it so the tribe can drink it. The Kucha Kangas are happy to let her do so because at least she stays out of ear-shot. Rodger notices and praises Kimmi's labours. Kimmi feels vulnerable as she hasn't formed a "tight bond" with anyone. Maybe it's because listening to her voice is like cleaning your ears out with a power drill. Elizabeth admires Rodger's woodsman-like skills. Rodger gives her a heart-shaped rock he found. All together now! Awwwww! Elizabeth gushes over Rodger saying she won't vote him out, he's like the father she never had, he's like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny all rolled into one. Yeah. Right.

Chaos reigns supreme in the Kucha camp as everyone is feeling out alliances with everyone else. Jeff and Alicia go off alone into the woods. They don't trust Nick or Elizabeth. They complain that Nick is pulling a Gervase due to his athletic skills. While he isn't sitting on his ass, Nick spends his time building a kitchen (a pile of logs resting up against a tree) and fashioning crude furniture out of the tribe's valuable firewood.

Challenge Number Two

An obstacle course. Catch is the tribe members are all tied together and everyone must cross the finish line to win. They are permitted to carry any member who is having a hard time.

Reward

The Immunity Idol - immunity from tribal council.

Result

Mad Dog can't keep up. She stumbles, falls and trips. Rodger is in the same boat but his team picks him off the ground and carries him. Kucha is the first to cross the finish line. Kucha congratulates Rodger for not having a coronary. Winners: Kucha Tribe.

Ogakor Pre-Council Happenings

Mitchell wishes that Kel was still a part of the tribe because then they would've won the challenge. Too late, string bean. Maralyn is assured she can count on Tina. Keith aligns himself with Maralyn and attempts to convince the others that she can be productive in the mental challenges and that Mitchell is just lazy. Colby informs Mitchell of Keith's lobbying.

Tribal Council Number Three

Lots of jabbering about trust and loyalty. Coby and Mitchell don't trust anyone. Maralyn cites her friendship with Tina. Jerri says she is keeping friendships and the game separate. Maralyn praises Colby and Tina.

Final Voting

Parting Comments

"I cannot thank you enough for selecting me and this experience has meant so much to me. At 52, I can feel myself really coming alive. Oh, hell. I'm tired. Did this all really happen? Did I do this?"- Maralyn Hershey.

Powell's Comments

Much has been made of how manipulative and conniving Jerri is. While that is all true we are seeing another pattern developing. One of Tina consistently taking people into her confidence and then betraying them at tribal council. She says one thing and does another. That's okay. The young Ogakor's are bound to turn on the older Tina soon. Keith has dug his own grave too by trying to take Mitchell down. Once Keith is shoved over the waterfall you can bet Tina will be close behind.