CANOE -- JAM! Television - TV Shows - Survivor3: Africa: Episode One: Diane dunked

If viewers have learned anything from watching the first two installments of 'Survivor' it is that when you step off that boat, plane or truck with your fellow contestants the first thing you should do is tell everyone that you are a really, really bad navigator. Don't look, touch or even acknowledge the existence of that map which leads to your camp. Avoid it like you would any film made by the Farrelly Brothers because if you do become the designated guide you might as well get back on that boat, plane or truck and kiss your chances of winning the game goodbye. Being the navigator means ordering people around and that means ticking people off right out of the gate.

Following in the footsteps of Survivor 2's Debb Eaton, who had all the tact of a wild grizzly bear, Diane Ogden -- a U.S. Postal Service mail carrier from Lincoln, Nebraska -- was the first player voted out of 'Survivor: Africa'. Forgetting she was in Kenya with seven other strangers and not on her daily route, Ogden set a blistering pace while leading the Boran Tribe to their camp. That and the fact that she collapsed near the end of the Immunity Challenge and was one of the central figures in a tribal food dispute, fed Ogden's sorry carcass to the proverbial lions. If nothing else, this Survivor's tribal politics could be more unmerciful than the searing plains of Kenya.

Upon being unceremoniously ushered out of the game, Ogden called life on the Shaba Reserve in Kenya "real tough". She's not kidding. The climate is darn harsh. There is very little vegetation to protect the players from the sizzling sun and each tribe's precious water supply is so meager and filthy that many of the contestants were already feeling dehydrated and sick on the second day. A thorn fence surrounds each camp to keep nocturnal predators out and sentries must be posted at night to be on guard against unwanted visitors. The first Immunity Challenge was not only one of the harshest physical challenges ever on 'Survivor', it also showed how rugged and rough the surrounding terrain really is. By the looks of things, this edition of 'Survivor' could be the most brutal and best yet.

The remaining Survivors at the start of the broadcast were:

Samburu Tribe

Boran Tribe

Pre-Tribal Happenings (Day One)

Sitting in a truck with the 'Survivor' logo plastered across the roof, the contestants are driven through the reserve passing by giraffes and other exotic wildlife. Like a stock scene out of a Hollywood movie, children from a village near the reserve run behind the truck giggling joyfully as it makes its way to a grassy plain. Once there, the driver curtly orders everyone out. "Have a nice day!," he shouts happily as he drives away leaving the 16 suckers behind to take whatever supplies they can carry off to their respective camps. In a brilliant move which may foreshadow their success in the game, the Boran Tribe decides that some of their water flasks are just too darn heavy to carry so they empty some of them before they even know what kind of water supply will be waiting for them down the road. Diane takes the lead but is less than enthusiastic about doing so. She knows it is a bad move that can't possibly serve her well.

Frank Garrison, a former Non-Commissioned Army Officer with the 24th Infantry Division and gay bartender Brandon Quinton make an unlikely pair carrying much of Samburu's gear. Brando complains that Frank shows "no compassion" as he marches the tribe double-time to their destination. Once they find their camp someone asks Frank what division of the U.S. Army he used to belong to. He replies cryptically: "the American branch called 'freedom'. Boran manages to reach their camp too. Diane does what she does best and collapses in a heap as they do with a generous thud.

Samburu Tribal Happenings (Day One)

The players receive a message informing them that it would be wise if they repaired the thorn fencing around their camp, build their shelter and boil some water from the nearby stream. Frank marches off to the water supply without waiting for the others to join him. Kim is also none too impressed with Frank's gung-ho mentality. She is there to have fun and doesn't appreciate being ordered around.

Brandon tells us that the tribe regrets emptying the water flasks because some were broken during the transport. Duh! Those foraging to the water hole make light of the "dangerous" Giraffes that are lurking off in the distance. Linda, who has visited Africa many times, informs the viewers that she is angry that her fellow tribemates were disrespecting the natural habitat and history of the land with their immature comments and behavior.

Samburu's water source is similar to something out of 'Return Of The Swamp Thing'. What little water found there is dirty and has flies and bug swarming it. Lindsey is grossed out. By evening, Samburu still hasn't managed to start a fire though Frank has been giving it his best shot. There is some static shots of leopards and lions but we have no idea if the animals are anywhere near the tribes themselves or were just edited into the show for effect.

Boran Tribal Happenings (Day One)

Jessie is puking up a storm. She feels weak, sick and needs to consume some water before she turns to dust. Boran's water supply is much better than Samburu's. It is far less filthy and appears to be more of a stream or pool of sorts rather than a swamp. Tom, the goat and cattle farmer and Ethan, the professional soccer player, dig out some H20. Overcome by their good fortune, they start singing. In a weird segment, Tom dances and makes animal sounds while flouncing about in the water. Woah. Easy there, big fella. I, for one, am looking forward to Tom's prize-winning cattle calls with much enthusiasm. Yee-haw!

Samburu Tribal Happenings (Day Two)

Still no fire to be had here. Kim starts poking around the medical kit and finds a ... telescope! Quick-thinking Kim removes the lens and hands it to Silas so he can use it to start a fire. Remembering Michael's header into the firepit during 'Survivor: Australian Outback', Silas is reminded not to inhale the smoke. Frank helps Silas and Samburu finally has a fire going. Everyone celebrates and even the stone-faced Frank gives his cheek muscles some much deserved exercise and cracks a faint but noticeable smile. It's a tender and touching scene. Sniffle. Sniffle.

Boran Tribal Happenings (Day Two)

Everyone is feeling as so dehydrated that the tribe decides to crack open a can of cherries. The idea is for them to sit in a circle, take one and pass the can along to the next person. Ethan tells us he swears he saw Clarence take two instead of one during his turn.

Immunity Challenge

Each team must maneuver a large wooden cart with a large, blazing firepot on top of it to three towers. Two of the towers are located on a small rocky mountain and a sandy beach.

Reward

The first team to light all three of their torches at the towers and crosses the finish line with all their members wins immunity from the first tribal council, fire and the cart to help them with their chores around camp.

Result

Ethan, the guy who is supposed to be quick on his feet, has a lot of trouble during this challenge. He stumbles and falls frequently. His errors cost his team dearly.

Winners: The Samburu Tribe. Diane does another face-plant and must be helped away by members of Boran.

Boran Tribe Happenings (Day Two)

Diane is still out like a light. Clarence volunteers to stay and look after her while the others go collect some water. Remembering the cherry incident, Ethan shares the info with the rest of the tribe at the water hole. He doesn't trust Clarence at all. Tom suggests they take stock of the food when they get back. When they return 'Beangate' erupts. Clarence admits to opening a can of baked beans and sharing them with Diane. He claims he did it to put some food into Diane to make her feel better. According to Clarence, Diane asked him to do it. Diane fesses up but says she never asked Clarence to do any such thing as she wasn't hungry. Clarence calls Diane a liar. Everyone gathers round as Tom rips into Clarence for opening food without asking the others first. He makes Clarence apologize to everyone for what he did. Clarence does. Lex gives a long speech about trust in the group being broken and that everyone has to work together as a team.

Tribal Council

Our host, Jeff Probst, asks Jessie about what the tribe will do with the fire they can take back to their camp. Jessie says they will boil water all night long. Diane confesses that the sun and lack of water has sucked the life out of her. She is "out of gas". Clarence tells Probst that everyone in the tribe has come together. He once again apologizes for opening the can of food and says he feels "horrible" that he let them down. He calls his actions "unfair" and "stupid". Ethan says he was impressed that Clarence wanted to stay behind and help Diane. Roy gets the last comment about 'Beangate'. He understands that Clarence had a moment of weakness. He can forgive but he won't forget what happened.

Diane votes for Clarence. She calls him "deceitful" and didn't like it when he called her a "liar". Ethan casts his ballot for Diane. To him, she is the weakest person and despite what he did, the team need a "strong guy" like Clarence to help win the Immunity Challenges. Roy voted for Clarence. He believes Clarence is weak. Of course, Clarence votes for Diane. He says she lied to him. He told her before that she reminded him of his mother. Now he thinks she is nothing like her.

Final Voting

Parting Comments

"Well, I am the first one to get the boots and I have no regrets. I am actually kind of glad. It was a lot tougher than I thought it would be. I am glad that I had the experience and got the chance to come and find out exactly what wild Africa is like. It's tough. It's real tough."- Diane Ogden.

Episode Rating: A.

Powell's Comments

On next week's episode there is a gender war brewing at Boran while over at Samburu Silas seems to be forming alliances which may explode in his face if he isn't careful. Some other info to pass along, the 'Survivor' rumour mill says that Lindsey was forced to leave the game due to an injury or illness and Tom is seen having lost a lot a weight when he returned home which is an indication that he could be staying on the show for some time to come. What I also found very interesting about the cast of 'Survivor: Africa' is that many of them have studied psychology or work in fields that require judging the behavior of other people. In particular, keep your eye on Kelly Goldsmith -- the Behavior Research Analyst. It is her job to understand what makes people tick and to size up situations. She could be a dark horse. Lex appears to be a good negotiator while Clarence better not make any more mistakes or he could be done early. He is best to stay low and wait to win individual Immunity Challenges. Boran better start acting more like a team or they are all in for a rough ride. In this stage of the game, tribal in-fighting can be detrimental.