CANOE -- JAM! Television - TV Shows - Survivor3: Africa: Episode Seven: Clarence cooked

All the worry was for nothing. Despite the meddlesome mindgames host Jeff Probst played with the Survivors, hinting again and again that the merger of the Samburu and Boran Tribes would be delayed or not even happen at all, they did so last night. Unlike the previous installments of 'Survivor', the ten remaining players merged without any great fanfare or hardship. They arrived at an Immunity Challenge and the announcement was made by Probst. That's all and that's it.

Treating them with kid gloves as they have done throughout the entire series, the producers didn't even require the Survivors to go through the trouble of building a new camp. They were asked to choose which one they liked better: Boran or Samburu. Boran's site was selected. To make the transition even more easier (as if it could be), Samburu's belongings were transported to Boran for them by the thoughtful producers. No five minutes for the tribes to gather what they wanted to bring to the new camp as the preceding Survivors had done. No stressing over building a new shelter. No exploration of their new location. No excitement. No intrigue. The merge was made as smooth as silk for the players and as boring as could be for the viewers.

Clarence Black, the "aspiring" food critic, chicken stalker and notorious baked bean gobbler, was the first Survivor thrown out of the newly-formed Moto Maji Tribe. A powerhouse athlete, Black had the potential to pull a Colby and win the majority of the individual Immunity Challenges. The other players would have none of that and voted him out. All of them that is except for Black himself of course and Teresa Cooper. The last two Survivors battling for immunity, the pair settled the contest between them with a Rock, Paper and Scissors game. Since Black honoured his word and forfeited immunity when he lost, Cooper kept her promise by following Black's lead at Tribal Council. Black and Cooper cast their votes for Lex van den Berghe, the marketing manager.

The remaining Survivors at the start of the broadcast were:

Samburu Tribe

Boran Tribe

Samburu Tribal Happenings (Night Eighteen)

Lindsey is gone and nobody is shedding any tears. Brandon, who openly weeped at the Tribal Council and apologized to Lindsey publicly, says he is glad the crybaby is no longer around. Kim, Tom and Brandon sit around the campfire discussing the ethics of the game. Tom comments that Lindsey was a "nervous as a whore in church" at Tribal Council. Tom tells us that Brandon and Kim have made their bed and now must lay in it. Brandon knows that he and Kim are in the minority now. He plans to keep his distance from her in the hopes that she is axed by the former Boran members first.

Boran Tribal Happenings (Day Nineteen)

Clarence is still going on about how good the chicken was to eat. He had some trouble though digesting it and escapes to the tall grass to relieve himself. As he is doing so, some elephants wonder close by. Ethan and Frank share a chuckle while Clarence beats his feet out of there before the elephants decide to stampede or something. Clarence tells us that it would've been embarrassing to kick the bucket like that. Boran and a swarm of flies have a brunch consisting of tomatoes and corn meal sludge. Dumbass Frank asks Kim what the heck "brunch" is. He's never heard of the term before. Kim also explains to him what "brunch" is, that he's on a show called 'Survivor' in Africa and that the bright ball of fire in the sky is the sun. Duh. Boran sits on their butts pondering the merge. Yawn.

Samburu Tribal Happenings (Day Nineteen)

Tom, Kelly and Lex hold a meeting away from the others. Lex feels that the three of them are almost guaranteed to be the final three. Tom does a little Riverdance two-step to celebrate. Brandon tells us that he wants the individual Immunity Challenges to start as he is sick of working as a tribe. Samburu sits on their butts pondering the merge. Yawn.

It is arts and crafts time for Lex. Like a deranged Martha Stewart (if she was a man with spiky hair and tattoos), Lex carves wooden spoons for everyone to make eating the cornmeal sludge easier. Kelly thinks Lex is just "kissing ass". In her mind, he is an annoying weirdo. Lex tells Kelly that he is so proud of his spoon that he will bring it home with him. With all the enthusiasm a lion displays while sunning itself in the noon day sun, Kelly replies...Great, Lex.

Immunity Challenge

Both tribes receive tree mail. They have twenty minutes to get ready for a challenge. When they arrive at the designated spot, Probst informs them that as of this moment they are one tribe. He hands out the new tribal bandannas which are green. The tribe is told they can come up with a name and a flag later on their own. The players opt to live at Boran's camp together. The first individual Immunity Challenge of 'Survivor: Africa' involves the players standing on a log and having one of their raised arms strapped to a water bucket mechanism. If at any time their arm drops, the bucket of water will empty on them and they are out of the challenge. The one who outlasts the others wins.

Reward

Immunity from Tribal Council.

Result

Kelly says to Probst that she does this type of thing at home all the time. It's a piece of cake for her. Fourteen minutes later, she is the first to lose. Kim Johnson is right after Kelly. As the pair watches on, they discuss strategy. They both can't believe how many secrets the Samburu members revealed to them. Kelly says that Frank is a "jackass" and "hates women". Brandon is the next to quit. Kim at 36 minutes in and Tom at 44. Frank leaves at 55 minutes.

At one hour and 14 minutes into the challenge, the sickest moment on a 'Survivor: Africa' broadcast (next to them drinking cow's blood) occurs. For no apparent reason other than to make the viewer's eardrums explode, Teresa launches into a rendition of "Tomorrow" from "Annie". Lions run for cover. Giraffes weep. Birds drop dead out of the sky. Hippos begin committing mass suicide across Africa to escape the awful noise.

At the two hour and 17 minute mark, Probst tempts the Survivors with a hamburger. If someone quits now, they get the burger. Since nobody bites, the burger is fed to the losers. They say it is cold. Three hours and 10 minutes in, Probst offers a pizza with the same end result. The Survivors eating the pizza claim it hasn't been cooked all the way through. Lex is done at 3 hours and 18 minutes. Ethan at 3 hours and 38 minutes.

Clarence tries to wheel and deal with Teresa. Teresa says that she has to win as there are more Boran than Samburu left. At four hours and 30 minutes, Probst offers a full meal. Clarence speaks to the tribe about giving Teresa immunity if she forfeits. They pretend not to know what Clarence is getting at and just wave back at him. Clarence tells Teresa that he isn't Silas and she can trust him. Teresa asks Clarence rhetorically if he can trust her. At six hours, they settle the challenge with a Rock, Paper and Scissors game. Clarence picks rock. Teresa paper. Paper covers rock. Clarence steps down at 6 hours and 20 seconds to devour the meal.

Winner: Teresa Cooper.

Post Merger Tribal Happenings (Day Nineteen)

Everyone chats on the way to the Boran camp. Everyone except Frank who is walking alone. Frank says to us that he feels like a "Smith" at a "Wagner" family reunion. As they promised, the producers have dropped Samburu's possessions off. There is also a basket of food and wine for everyone. Party-pooper Frank strides off to find firewood while everyone munches and drinks. Finally with some coaxing, Frank joins in. Kelly tells us that Frank's anti-social behavior could be fixed with prescription drugs. Ouch! Tearing a page out of Tina's book, Teresa toasts her new friends. Tom, a married man, confides in us that Teresa is a "good girl" at heart and that because he had to live with Brandon, he would hook up with Teresa at a moment's notice even if she had one eye in the middle of her forehead.

The Survivors participate in a drinking game. Ethan says he has never walked through a crowd of people naked. Tom says he never thought he would be turned on by a 56-year-old woman in Kim Johnson. Kim replies that she has never had sex on an airplane. Teresa, the flight attendant, admits that she has. Frank has never broken a handshake promise. The party breaks up. Frank and some others go to gather wood. Frank spots an elephant nearby. He begins trying to communicate with it by waving his arm like a tail. Frank admits that he loves animals and there are some people back at camp that he wouldn't ever want to get close to.

Post Merger Tribal Happenings (Night Nineteen)

Everyone gathers around the fire to brainstorm a name for their new tribe. Lex offers "Moto Maji". It is Swahili for "fire and water". Since it is better than "Burnett's Favoured Survivors" or "Survivors Of The Forgotten Season", everyone agrees with Lex's idea.

Moto Maji Pre-Tribal Council Happenings (Day Twenty)

Tom and Ethan scheme. Clarence starts painting the Moto Maji flag. Lex and Tom meet. Lex feels that he has to be honest with the person who they are kicking out as the pathetic soul doesn't realize what is about to happen. Lex pulls Clarence aside giving him the "it's nothing personal" speech. "We can't have you winning all the challenges," says Lex. Kelly tells us that she doesn't understand why everyone is following Lex's lead. She likes Clarence. Lex informs Kim Johnson of the plan. Kim says to us that she doesn't like Lex telling her what to do. Clarence talks with Tom. He doesn't understand why his pals in Boran would vote him out before the members of Samburu. Tom is itching to eject Brandon. Teresa won't vote for Clarence as he was true to his word at the challenge.

Tribal Council

Probst reminds the Survivors that anyone getting the heave-ho after tonight's Tribal Council will have the opportunity to sit on the jury. Lex explains what Moto Maji means. Ethan terms the tribe as a "happy family". Brandon says that Frank cracked some jokes at the party they had. He appreciated seeing a softer side of Frank. Tom admits that the game preys on his mind. There is no sustained sense of security while playing 'Survivor' says Teresa. Clarence admires Teresa for the fight she put up during the challenge. It is something he will never forget. Teresa thanks Clarence for the compliment by kissing his hand. Ethan has a hard time being deceitful.

Clarence votes for Lex to make it hard on him to win. Brandon wishes good luck in life to the person he cast his ballot for. Lex chooses Clarence. He says that Clarence has come a long way since messing up at the start but he is a threat as far as the Immunity Challenges go. Teresa votes for Lex because she finds his leadership skills "scary".

Final Voting

Parting Comments

"You guys won fair and square. I am glad that I didn't do anything at any time to dishonour myself or my mother. I played a fair game and I lost. I lost because I was strong and I don't think there are many people who can say they lost because they were strong. I lost with integrity. I would have won with integrity. " - Clarence Black.

Episode Rating: C.

Powell's Comments

Next time on 'Survivor': The tribe competes for an "unusual reward". A van like the players arrived in is shown driving through a small town. Lex is on a mission to find out who voted for him. "I need to smoke that person out in the next three days and cut their head off," says Lex in the promo. The ex-Samburu members formulate a plan they will put into motion at Tribal Council.

Just as he did with the "exchange", Mark Burnett has done himself and the show no favours by downplaying and altering the highly-anticipated merger. By doing so, Burnett has shown the direction he is heading in. Less "adventure" and more "soap opera" seems to be his mindset. It is the wrong path to head down. The social interaction of the Survivors will always be an intriguing part of the show but if he cuts out the central theme -- 16 castaways learning to survive in a hostile and unknown environment -- the series will lose much of its appeal. Judging by the ratings in the U.S., that fact should be already apparent to him and the other producers.

Besides finding enough clean water, the 'Survivor:Africa' contestants have had it real easy thus far compared to what Tagi, Kucha, Ogakor and Pagong had to go through. The setting may have a lot to do with that. Because the tribes are forbidden to kill any of the animals on the site and there isn't much vegetation to eat, some of the survival elements that dominated the other installments don't apply in Kenya. Eliminating the need for the Survivors to create another camp or build a shelter from scratch, doesn't help that situation though at all.

The 'Survivor' rumour mill insists that Teresa and Frank are next on the chopping block. That sounds reasonable considering that if the Boran Alliance holds together, they should be able to knock off Samburu one by one. Samburu's only hope is to scheme the exit or defection of a Boran member if they can get their act together and let bygones be bygones. Kim Johnson might be a good candidate to jump ship. With a one vote lead at Tribal Council, you can bet that Boran won't be cannibalizing their own again until Samburu is crushed. The way things stand now Brandon, Frank, Teresa and Kim Powers don't have much hope of winning the game unless an Immunity streak comes into play or there is a shift in alliances. Lex, Tom and Ethan probably have the best chance of being the final three. In my opinion, the dark horse is Kelly. As she is proven, she is very skilled at judging people. Her skills as a behavior research analyst may be playing a bigger role that we are aware of.