Just when you think 'Survivor: All Stars' couldn't get any worse...it did.
Last night, the producers decided to follow up last week's snoozer of an
episode (excluding Susan's volcanic eruption, of course) with a broadcast
that gave insomniacs a first class, all expenses paid trip to Dreamland.
With the majority of the episode dedicated to the Chapera Tribe eating,
drinking, dancing, fishing, laughing, lounging, jabbering and golfing on a
luxury yacht, 'Survivor' became more of a sophomoric travelogue than the
cut throat reality show fans have come to expect.
About the only real drama came about when Mogo Mogo's Lex Van Den Berghe
possibly schemed himself and his tribe into a world of hurt. Lex betrayed
his solid alliance with Colby Donaldson and convinced Shii Ann Huang and
Jerri Manthey to vote the razor-hocking Texan out based on the assumption
that a tribal merger was on the horizon. The decision, which could cost
Mogo Mogo future challenges and Lex the entire game, isn't surprising for
fans who watched 'Survivor: Africa'. Lex's overly aggressive gameplay and
general paranoid behavior led to the unfortunate ousting of player and
alliance partner Kelly Goldsmith on the series. Lex wrongly accused her of
casting a vote against him at a previous Tribal Council. He rallied what
remained of the Boran Tribe and Brandon Quinton of the former Samburu Tribe
to boot her for being untrustworthy.
Wow. A stunning, earth-shattering twist this week. No viewer warning from
CBS at the top of the show. Man, I didn't see that coming.
'Wicked Witch' Jerri has woken up on the wrong side of the torture rack
that is Mogo Mogo's hovel. As she moans and groans about her back hurting,
'She-Devil' Shii Ann and Kathy roll their eyes and trade sour faces. Shii
Ann to Kathy: "I know every thought she thinks because it comes out of her
mouth."
'She-Devil': Hello. We all slept on the rack. Jerri's was the only voice to
bitch about it.
Kathy: Jerri is lazy and the "bad seed" of the tribe. Her complaining is
driving Colby insane.
Colby: Jerri hasn't changed since 'Survivor: Australia'. She still treats
people badly. She is annoying but he is letting the situation roll
of his back because he knows she won't win.
Well out of Jerri's spell-casting range, Kathy and the 'She-Devil' lounge
in the water and rip on Jerri. Kathy: "She is such a bitch." The
'She-Devil' cackles. Kathy: "I love slam dunking people." Nice attitude. I am starting to hate Kathy more and more.
Jerri: Is comfortable with her current position in the tribe. They are
underestimating her. She is using her "easy going" strategy. I guess Jerri
hasn't heard the one about a leopard not changing its spots.
Tree mail arrives in the form of puzzle pieces. Chapera isn't sure if it
will be an individual or tribal challenge.
Rupert leads a Chapera pep rally. If the challenge involves swimming, Mogo
Mogo is dead in the water.
Rupert 'Blackbeard': Is trying to pound into the tribe that if they remain
focused and keep their composure, they will be victorious.
The tribes start on platforms in the water. One at a time, they must swim
to a puzzle piece, unhook it and swim back to the platform with it. Once
all the pieces are collected and pieced together, they form a boat. The
tribes then have to paddle the boat to shore and retrieve their flag. That
ain't all though. One tribe member will dash off into the jungle, get the
tribe's other paddles and head back to the boat. The final stage is a race back
to the platform.
Chapera chooses Kathy to go with them. Chapera welcomes Kathy with hugs
all around.
Chapera Tribal Happenings
Kathy: Her head was bowed. She didn't want to go. She was crushed that
Mogo Mogo lost the challenge but...it is a treat to sail on a
yacht...Yippie!
All of Kathy's supposed regrets about being selected disappear quicker than
our memories of 'Survivor: Thailand' when she boards the boat and begins
partying with Chapera.
It is not at all surprising that 'Peeping Tom' has never seen a boat like
this yacht. It is like a "house on a lake" to him. One wonders what he would think of cable television, a microwave oven or a cell phone.
Kathy: Feels totally at home with Chapera. She begins debating when (not
if) she will defect to Chapera.
Mogo Mogo Tribal Happenings
Lex: The challenge was Mogo Mogo's to win. The loss is a huge
disappointment.
Ethan apologizes to everyone. It was his fault. He screwed up. Jerri
mitigates the damage by saying it wasn't any one person's mistake. Ethan
admits to Colby that he couldn't get knots untied and the paddles free. I
guess he didn't notice the huge machete sitting there that he used to bring
the paddles down to begin with.
Ethan: Sometimes you are the hero. Sometimes you are the goat. Today, he
was the goat. He failed and ponders whether the tribe needs him now.
Chapera Tribal Happenings
The boat docks at an oasis of sorts (more like a clearing in the jungle)
where dessert is served. After filling their guts, Chapera swims at a
waterfall.
Kathy: Chapera is having so much more fun than Mogo Mogo. Still thinking
about when she will sucker punch Mogo Mogo.
Mogo Mogo Tribal Happenings
'Wicked Witch' Jerri: She is on edge and stressed out.
In a confrontation worthy of WrestleMania, the 'She-Devil' and the 'Wicked
Witch' square off over...cooking coconut pieces?!?!?
'She-Devil': Jerri rubs her the wrong way. She never shows initiative when
it comes to working at camp. She just latches onto others and assists them
in duties they are already involved in.
Jerri doesn't want the rotten chunks to be cooked. Shii Ann doesn't care
what Jerri thinks and tells her so. Jerri to Shii Ann: "I can do this." The
'She-Devil' does one of her Linda Blair-Exorcist eye rolls again. Colby
suggests the women put on boxing gloves.
Colby: It would be a tough decision if he had to vote off either the
'She-Devil' or the 'Wicked Witch'. He loathes them both...so much.
Chapera Tribal Happenings
The deck of the yacht is turned into a make-shift driving range with 'The
Robfather', Jenna and Tom swatting at balls. 'The Robfather' brags about
being on the high school or company golf team then promptly misses a shot
and falls on his ass. Mike Weir he is not. 'Survivor' becomes 'Happy
Gilmore' when 'The Robfather' swings at another ball. The club flies out of
his hand and into the water. Rupert shouts..."Fore!"...in the background.
Using the yacht's sophisticated fishing equipment, Tom vows to catch more
guppies than Rupert. Tom scores nothing.
Kathy sits with Chapera's women and spills all about the alliances back at
Mogo Mogo. Alicia thinks Kathy is a strong woman but doesn't know if she is
telling the truth or not. Tom rubs his hands together. Kathy has fallen
hook, line and sinker for their trap.
Mogo Mogo Tribal Happenings
Ethan doesn't feel secure. Does he ever? Colby and Ethan huddle in the
hovel and decide that Jerri is the easy out. They bring Lex in on the
conversation. Lex promptly spills all to Jerri who agrees with his plan
to blindside Colby at Tribal Council. Lex employs the usual challenge
threat-after-the merge strategy.
Lex: Promised himself to change his tactics after 'Survivor: Africa'. If he
has to lie to people, so be it. This is his chance to do something
unexpected and risky. He has to take the opportunity to get Colby out.
Jerri: Is worried that Lex is playing her. At long last, she will be rid of
Colby.
Lex chatters to the 'She-Devil'. This is their chance. If they pull this
one off, they are so in the finals.
'She-Devil': Jerri is so lazy. With Kathy off on the boat and her left with
the "power players" back at camp, Shii Ann has to decide on what move to
make. Get your VCRs ready, folks. Tape this one for posterity. Shii Ann is
about to use her brain and think for herself. Now, that's a twist!
Tribal Council Happenings
Ethan takes full responsibility for the challenge loss. He let the team
down and hates to lost to 'The Robfather'. Colby isn't looking forward to
merging with Chapera. Lex is thinking about the merger. He is basing his
vote on who might help him in a post-merge situation. Jerri: Time to target
the big threats. Colby cuts Jerri off. He believes it is bad strategy to go
after those types of players now. It is like cutting the tribe's legs off.
Shii Ann is sure that she and Jerri are the weakest when it comes to
challenges. Jerri denies that. She is good at puzzles and strategy. She
also claims to uplift the tribe's spirits. Shii says that Colby is a strong
and valued member. Colby takes that as meaning he is a challenge threat.
Lex is shocked that Kathy is partying with Chapera.
Ethan votes for Jerri. She is two-faced. Lex writes down Colby's name. It
has nothing to do with friendship. He has to take him out. Colby votes for
Jerri and says nothing. Jerri picks Colby. Is for revenge. Hell, yeah. We
don't see Shii Ann's vote but she says the person has underestimated her
powers.
Final Voting
1. Colby Donaldson: Jerri.
2. Lex Van Den Berghe: Colby.
3. Shii Ann Huang: Colby.
4. Ethan Zohn: Jerri.
5. Jerri Manthey: Colby.
Tribal Council Victim: Colby Donaldson.
Parting Comments
Television: "Tonight was probably a polar opposite from my first
experience in 'Survivor'. At every Tribal Council, I was never voted out
but the inevitable bonus is playing this game again. It is simply once
again proving to yourself that you can do it and ultimately, when your day
is up, you gotta be okay with that. You gotta feel good about what you've
done. - Colby Donaldson.
Internet: I don't know that you will ever allow yourself the time to
relax enough to truly appreciate and enjoy the experience. I had a hard
time doing that the first time, but because it is so cutthroat this time, I
don't think everyone's going to do that. And that makes it different. I
also truly believe the adventure of the experience is lost for most,
because it's not new anymore. So maybe I'm wrong, but for me, it's much
easier to let go and say goodbye this time than it would have been the
first time. But I knew coming into this I could not have duplicated my
experience. You couldn't have had more fun and had a more positive
experience than I had the first time playing this game. I knew that coming
in, so I wasn't looking to outdo it.
The inevitable bonus of playing this game again is simply once again
proving to yourself that you can do it, that you can withstand the
elements, put up with the environment and the players and the diverse
personalities and move your way through this game. No matter how far you
make it, when you get home from playing it the first time, you wonder if
you'll ever go through that type of experience again, whether you'll ever
have to truly trust your senses and push yourself to those limits again.
Having an opportunity to come back and play it again? Check, well, mark
that one off the list: I've still got it; I've still got that competitive
edge.
I want to show up and compete. I want to go play in the Challenges and try
to win. That's what feels good, is knowing I'm three years older but I've
still got that in me. I've still got that drive to compete and win. But I'm
more comfortable in my life now, so it's okay that I didn't win. I don't
know if I could have said that the first time, because honestly, I didn't
win, but I felt like I did.
I remember filling out the first application three and a half years ago.
The primary reason, before there was any hope of me getting on that show,
was to see if I could push myself and see if I can test it. I felt like
since college I'd lost my competitive edge. That was my one way to get it
back, and it happened.
That was three years ago, and I wanted to know if it was still there. I'm
very driven to succeed, and I find victories in my life daily, if not
weekly. But this was something I wanted to do to see if I could still hold
up under pressure, and it feels good. I don't mean just physically hold up.
The body's a little older, but I felt like it would hold up fine.
Emotionally and mentally, I wanted to see if I could still put myself
through the wringer and be okay with it. I feel a lot better this time,
maybe even better than I did the first.
Tonight was probably as polar opposite as you could be from my first
experience in SURVIVOR. Every Tribal Council, I was never voted out, was
never snuffed out. If I signed on and came back, and I was completely
goal-oriented, meaning the only focus I had was to win this thing, or if I
truly believed I could, tonight would have hurt a lot worse. But I've never
said I could win this thing again, ever. I knew it would be tougher.
I knew it would be a much harder game to be successful at, not just
winning, but to make it as far as I did, or as far as a lot of people did
the first time. So in the back of my mind, I always knew this was a
possibility, even today, coming in. It wasn't a lie when I said everyone
has to feel a level of vulnerability coming into Tribal Council, because
it's a smarter game, and that's what makes it a great game.
On the next 'Survivor':
Television: Next Wednesday, 'Survivor' is on a special night. Rob and
Amber finally connect. Rob and Amber are shown sucking face. Amber: "He is
getting me through this game and I think I am getting him through too."
Rob: "Amber is slammin'." Both tribes select ambassadors. At Chapera, the
alpha males square off. Rob: "It is Aquaman versus the city kid from
Boston."
Internet: Ethan feels blindsided by Mogo Mogo's Tribal Council
decision, but Jerri is thrilled and enjoys a chance to gloat. The tribes
fear the worst when Tree Mail announces they must each send one of their
own to the opposing tribe's camp. Boston Rob and Rupert face off in a power
play.
Powell's Thoughts:
I love 'Survivor', otherwise I wouldn't be doing this, but this episode
ranks as one of the worst ever. I can actually recall some 'Thailand'
episodes being more fascinating than the coma-inducing footage we witnessed
tonight. I am hopeful though that the pace will pick up as the players who
are remaining really want to play the game and win.
It seems to me that 'The Robfather' was the one who influenced the decision
to pick Kathy. Since both know each other from 'Survivor: Marquesas', it is
reasonable to assume that Rob believes Kathy may be an ace in the hole if
need be and would be receptive to divulging info. Though he is an arrogant
twit, there is no doubt he is playing a strong game based on the decisions
he is making.
I have a sinking feeling that Lex's strategy has sent Mogo Mogo and him on
a doomed course. All of Mogo Mogo understands how Rich and Colby came to be
ousted. I dare say, some won't trust Lex any longer. Jerri and Ethan are
definite targets next episode. If the tribes merge, Ethan is the best bet
unless he wins Immunity. If they don't merge and the ambassador deal is all
a scam, Jerri's head could be on the chopping block based on the bad
feelings surrounding her and her assured boasting about getting her revenge
on Colby. I am leaning towards there not being a merge next episode. With
Kathy returning, Mogo Mogo may re-visit their decision to kick Colby and
reverse their strategy. Ethan will certainly feel betrayed and more
apprehensive than ever before. All things considered, it looks like Mogo
Mogo is in serious danger of being picked off one-by-one by a powerful
Chapera alliance. That is the way the series is heading.
A little trivia note..last night's episode was a rarity for 'Survivor' in that the show only dealt with the events of one solitary day in the game. Usually, three or more days pass in the course of an episode.
