This year's 'Big Brother' players could sure learn a thing or two from their 'Survivor' compatriots. Being disloyal and indecisive may get you to the 'Big Brother' finale but play 'Survivor: Vanuatu' that way and apparently you'll be rewarded with a one way ticket to the Loser Lodge. The appropriately named sheep farmer, Dolly Neely, couldn't make up her mind which alliance she was in and thus painted a big, fat target on her forehead on last night's episode.
With the female Yasur Tribe recycling the 'Survivor: Amazon' gameplay and remaining divided by age, it was Leann Slaby, the 35-year-old member of the Elders Alliance, who had her neck placed on the chopping block by the Sorority Girls (Dolly, Eliza, Julie, Lisa and Mia). Leann was as good as gone until Eliza jumped ship and alliances at Tribal Council and voted with the Elders.
Even more shocking was host Jeff Probst's announcement in the promo for next week's episode that both the Yasur and Lopevi tribes would go to Tribal Council and vote a member off.
The Survivors at the start of the broadcast were:
Lopevi Tribe
1. Chad Crittenden: Teacher. 2. Chris Daugherty: Highway construction. 3. Brady Finta: F.B.I. Agent. 4. Rory Freeman: Housing Case Manager. 5. John Kenney: Mechanical bull operator, model. 6. Lea "Sarge" Masters: Drill Sergeant. 7. John Palyok: Sales Manager. 8. Travis "Bubba" Sampson: Loss prevention.
Yasur Tribe
1. Julie Berry: Youth mentor. 2. Ami Cusack: Coffee server, model. 3. Mia Galeotalanza: Financial manager. 4. Lisa Keiffer: Real estate manager. 5. Scout Cloud Lee: Rancher. 6. Dolly Neely: Sheep farmer. 7. Eliza Orlins: Pre-law student. 8. Leann Slaby: Research assistant. 9. Twila Tanner: Highway repair.
Lopevi Tribal Happenings (Day Four)
With no fire, the entire Lopevi resembles popsicles in the morning. Travis says he slept like a baby. He was up every three minutes crying. Unable to cook a darn thing, Lopevi stealthily slays some worms for breakfast. Look out, Rupert. We got some superior hunters and gatherers here. Chris, who seemingly hasn't watched 'Survivor' since the producers doled out food like buffs on the African edition, comments that island life is sure tougher than he imagined. Welcome to 'Survivor', balance beam boy.
Without any other bright ideas amongst them, Lopevi tries the rub-two-sticks-together-to-make-fire routine again as rain clouds form overhead. They do get a spark but like the epic musical careers of Don Johnson, Jack Wagner and Frank Stallone, the weak amber fades into obscurity. Travis 'Mr. Obvious' Sampson tells us that without fire, Lopevi has no water and no chance against the women. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Yasur Tribal Happenings (Day Four)
Some of the women attempt to catapult Lisa up a tree so she can retrieve some plantains. Machete in hand, Lisa swings wildly like she's Jason Voorhees at Camp Crystal Lake. Powell's Rules of 'Survivor' Number 203: Don't give the machete to the former cheerleader. You're just asking for trouble.
After brutalizing the palm tree into firewood and her floatation devices almost falling out of her bikini top, Lisa finally slices the fruit down. Sorority Girls Eliza and Mia moan and groan about how cold they are. Eliza: It is like living in prison. She's right except I don't think Martha Stewart has a one in 17 chance of winning a million dollars.
The women cook up the plantains that quickly dissolve into mush with maggots crawling all over them. Though she can handle a pig getting its head caved in, Dolly freaks. Lisa hugs her as she blubbers on and on. Dolly tells us she is happy to be on 'Survivor'. She is just tired and hungry. Wow. You could've fooled us.
Showing some heart or good strategy, Twila takes over the comforting duties. Twila complains to us that the Sorority Girls are not strong enough to make it to the end of the game. They belong back at the Holiday Inn. Twila's advice: Shut up and eat the maggots! You go, girl.
Lopevi Tribal Happenings (Day Four)
Travis and John P. conspire in the jungle. The master strategist that he is, Travis reveals all of his alliance's plans to John. You know. How the older dudes feel they have to eliminate the Young Studs or they have no chance at winning the game. John is bewildered and puzzled by this logic. Travis says he is playing for his four kids back home. Pitching a verbal tantrum, John doesn't understand how kids factor into the equation. 'Mr. Obvious' counters with the fact that when the game started there were 17 threats and only one person can win 'Survivor'. The man is a genius, folks. All hail The Bubba!
Reward Challenge
Hands down, this is the stupidest 'Survivor' Challenge of all time. There is a balance beam. The Survivors have to line-up on it. The objective is for one person at a time to inch their way to the end of the beam without touching two of their team members at the same time. If they do or fall off, they must start again.
Reward
A hammock, some pillows and blankets. The men are also playing for their flint. Scout sits out for the women.
Result
Gee, I wonder who will win this one, eh? The result isn't surprising. Hugging and ambling their way across the women get all their members over while the men get just one. Eliza does a victory dance.
Winners: Yasur.
Lopevi Tribal Happenings (Day Four)
Eliza's dance has really ticked Rory off though he incorrectly confuses her with Twila. Rory thinks the women shoved their win in the guy's faces and didn't show any class. Sarge tries to calm the loose cannon down. It is just a game and they lost that one Challenge. No biggie. Rory stomps off to pout. The Sarge expresses his disappointment in Rory to the others. He says there is no reason for Rory to defame someone and grumble over a loss.
Yasur Tribal Happenings (Day Five)
As Lisa warbles a good morning song, Leann tells us she wouldn't want to be the guys right now. Unexpectedly, a chicken appears out of nowhere and wonders through camp. Shhhh. Be wery, wery quiet. It is chicken hunting season. The women track the chicken through the jungle. It ends up hiding in a log. Encouraged by the others, Twila regretfully raises the machete over her head and prepares to send Chicken Little to that great coop in the sky. Twila: Thank you, God. Sorry, little chicken. Twila strikes with all the accuracy of a Scud Missile. The chicken bolts for the jungle leaving a handful of eggs behind. Back at camp, the women are overjoyed until some dunderhead knocks over the cooking pot the eggs are boiling in. Doh! Achieving the status of "Ms. Obvious" for Yasur, Ami proceeds to waste valuable airtime explaining the apparent political dynamics of Yasur. Thanks for the news flash, Ami.
Dolly and Twila plot. Dolly pulls a Travis and proceeds to reveal to Twila how the Sorority Girls are shaping up. Twila learns that if Yasur lost the previous Immunity Challenge, the Sorority Girls were going to vote her off. Dolly is uncomfortable being stuck in the middle of the two alliances. She feels that Twila is a hard worker and the tribe needs her desperately. Twila and Dolly agree to target Eliza because her big yap is annoying everyone. They pink-swear on the deal. Powell's Rules of 'Survivor' Number 204: Pinky-swears are only legally binding if the participants still drink out of sipper cups and believe Barney is a real dinosaur. It should be known that this rule is subject to clause 1A. Clause 1A negates all of the above if the participants are contestants on 'Big Brother'.
Lopevi Tribal Happenings (Day Five)
Rory scoffs at the spirit stone. It has done nada for Lopevi. Some of the Lopevi men tie the mystical pebble to a pole and raise it to its proper place of honour. Chad tells us they have neglected it for far too long and that it possibly deserves more respect. As soon as the pole is erected, it rains. No longer a non-believer Rory states: There is magic on this island.
Reward Challenge
Sigh. It is the old blind man's bluff challenge again. There are puzzle pieces scattered all over the place. The tribes must pick one person to be the eyes of the other blindfolded players. This time around there are three puzzles to complete.
Reward
Immunity from Tribal Council. Lopevi is playing for their flint again too.
Result
Lots of Three Stooges moments where the Survivor bumble into each other, trees and puzzle pieces. Scout and The Sarge are the eyes for their tribes. Scout thinks the women are done and calls them back. Probst stops Yasur from taking off their blindfolds. He says there is one piece left and actually points to it. It is floating in the water. Good going, Jeff. I thought you were supposed to be impartial? Rory calls out to the Lopevi members who are carrying home the last piece. The Sarge gets tired of trying to shout over Rory and yells at him to stop. Lopevi sustains their lead.
Winners: Lopevi.
Yasur Tribal Happenings (Day Five)
As the women gather at their camp someone says there is no crying on 'Survivor'. Julie and Dolly chat at the water's edge as they apply muck to their faces. Blabbermouth Dolly divulges that Eliza is The Elders' target. Julie says that Eliza is good to keep around because she is easy to manipulate. Dolly doesn't want to make the wrong choice and feels trapped between a rock and a hard place. Dolly: I am in a cluster you-know-what. The Sorority Girls hatch a plan to take out Leann.
Still playing both sides, Dolly converses with Scout. Scout confirms that the Elders will go after Eliza just because she is so irritating. Dolly warns Scout that the Sorority Girls want Leann out because she is flying under the radar. Scout tells us that when she heard that from Dolly she nearly dropped her teeth.
Eliza confesses she just doesn't trust Dolly. She makes her nervous. She has no clue what she will do at Tribal Council.
Tribal Council
Probst gives the usual fire speech. Scout thinks she blew the Immunity Challenge for Yasur but there is no use wallowing in defeat. Eliza says Twila works the hardest of them all. Twila agrees. Leann says it is hard to function on not enough sleep. Because of that, she hasn't been as socially outgoing as she needs to be in the game. She feels she might be going home tonight. Dolly is sure she is the swing vote between the alliances. Eliza comments that at Tribal Council you just pray that people stick to their word.
Julie votes for Leann because Dolly is running the show. Eliza picks Leann too. She cites The Sorority Girl Alliance. When Probst reads out the votes, Mia and the other Sorority Girls are shocked. It is clear based on the looks on their faces they know someone betrayed them.
Final Voting
1. Julie Berry: Leann. 2. Ami Cusack: Dolly. 3. Mia Galeotalanza: Leann. 4. Lisa Keiffer: Leann. 5. Scout Cloud Lee: Dolly. 6. Dolly Neely: Leann. 7. Eliza Orlins: Dolly. 8. Leann Slaby: Dolly. 9. Twila Tanner: Dolly.
Tribal Council Victim:
Dolly Neely.
Parting Comments: Television.
"First of all, I have to say, because this game is too much for me, I wasn't cut out for this. I am just a gentle farm girl. I can't plan, plot and scheme. I am not too good at reading the people I guess. I kind of live in my own little world. I am way too simple and nice. I just belong on the farm." -- Dolly Neely .
On the next 'Survivor': Television.
Mia shouts out to Twila: If you were not here, we would still have fire, shelter and food! Twila calls Mia a bitch. The Sarge accuses Rory of not pulling his weight. Rory: I am a grown ass man. I don't take orders real well. Probst to the stunned Survivors: "Both tribes will vote out one member tonight. Separate Tribal Councils. Two people going home."
On the next 'Survivor': Internet.
"Post-Tribal Council fallout leaves one castaway feeling the heat from fellow tribe members. At another tribe, differing work ethics and personalities lead to a clash between two castaways. Both tribes are shocked when they gather for a Challenge and are told at the end of the day there will be a double Tribal Council. A twist at the end of the Challenge puts one castaway in a very influential position. Tension and politicking run rabid at both camps as several vulnerable tribe members jockey to survive. Two will leave Vanuatu...who will it be?"
Powell's Thoughts:
I am starting to fear for this edition, folks. The personalities are fascinating but the dynamics are old hat. Young versus old. Women against men. Except for a bit of flip-flopping going on, the game will get predictable early on if the producers don't merge the tribes soon. The challenges are certainly nothing to write home about. Maneuvering down a balance beam again? Man, what happened? Did interns plan the challenges?
The 'Survivor' editors are notorious in the way they foreshadow future events with key points of dialogue. Travis making his "only one winner" speech to John P. and Dolly pointing out that Leann is almost invisible in the game so far could be hints at what is to come.
You can bet that the Sorority Sisters are gonna convene and try to weasel out who betrayed them. If the Elders don't take Eliza into their fold, she could face the same fate as Dolly and be left twisting in the wind. We will see if Eliza made the right decision or not.
The twist at the end of the Challenge could be that it is Individual Immunity since both tribes will be voting someone off.
