Let's face it, traditional marriage is under attack.

There are people who, in pursuit of their own warped agendas, are bent on cheapening the institution of marriage.

They insist they have the right to live and love as they choose, of course. They say what they're doing isn't hurting anyone. But how far are we willing to let them go?

What's that? You thought I was talking about same-sex spouses and the new federal benefits law? Oh, get real.

Look, if devoted gay and lesbian couples want to take on the same legal responsibilities and headaches as common-law or even married couples, good for them. Be my guest.

The threat I'm talking about is the one that assaulted millions of television viewers worldwide on Tuesday night. That's right, I mean the warped game show/beauty pageant fittingly titled, Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?

Brought to us by Fox, the network with a genius for train-wreck TV (i.e., you are so horrified you can't stop watching it), the show paraded 50 real, live (i.e., not noticeably brain-dead) women before an incognito millionaire, who then chose and married one in the show's finale.

The producers assured viewers it was completely legal, and that thousands of women had tried out for the chance at bagging a rich husband, along with - and perhaps more importantly - a 3-carat diamond ring and a new SUV.

Viewers were also told that as many as 100 male millionaires vied for the chance to be on the show, which bodes well for a future series (please God, no), but is hardly surprising. After all, he gets to watch from behind a screen as 50 articulate, telegenic women line up for the chance to be with him.

Lest you think these were cookie-cutter bimbos, a few details about the "contestants." They ranged in age from 19 to 43. They hailed from 25 states and eight countries (including two from Canada; one from Ontario and one from Quebec). Most were professionals, with jobs ranging from TV reporter to engineer to realtor to graphic designer to stunt woman, along with the occasional model and one "escort agent." As one candidly remarked, all were "unlucky in love."

In the small mercies department, there was no talent competition. But there was a swimsuit competition (since, as everyone knows, that is far more important to one's choice of mate), as well as several character-testing questions, on which the women were judged by the millionaire's mother, sister and friends. This, I can hear all you harried daughters-(and sons)-in-law saying, was the most realistic part of the show.

GET THE PICTURE?

Are you getting the picture yet? The groom made his life-changing choice based on the women's appearance and responses to pop-psychology questions. The women made theirs, knowing only that the man was rich. Well, that plus he's the kind of guy the Fox people figured wouldn't embarrass them later, which must be a real high standard, right?

As if in some post-feminist nightmare, each of these mostly articulate women spoke confidently about her independence and self-worth and lack of materialism, even as she was being scored and dolled up for humiliation. (What else would you call it when five women walk out in bridal gowns, knowing that four of them are about to be jilted - and one will have to have sex with a man she's never laid eyes on before?)

In the end, real-estate tycoon Rick Rockwell finally revealed himself and, in an attempt to salvage someone's dignity, thanked the women for putting themselves on the line, while all he had to do was watch and choose. Indeed, the women had no say, no chance to back out, no friends and family to judge him. He had 80 people flown to Las Vegas for the event. His chosen bride, Darva Conger, didn't even have a maid of honour.

The happy couple were reportedly on their honeymoon as the show aired. But you can bet they'll be doing the talk show circuit soon, defending their curious "lifestyle choice."

The thing is, as with most media abominations we love to complain about, this show actually tells us as much about ourselves as the participants. Is it just a new low in the bid for ratings, or a comment on how hard it is to find romance today?

I prefer to see it as scathing social satire - after all, after decades of feminism, many women still fantasize from childhood about being beauty queens and having Cinderella weddings. Some even take courses in how to meet and marry rich men. This show just takes all that to its sickening limit.

If there's a threat to traditional values, surely it comes from all of us who encourage this kind of garbage. Hey, you can't blame this one on gay folks. They have far too much taste.