STRATFORD -- In his years at the helm of the Stratford Festival, Richard Monette may have never actually turned dross into gold.

But, in an impressive display of theatrical alchemy, he has at least now succeeded in turning Shakespeare's The Comedy of Errors into much ado about nothing.

To explain: In his final season at the artistic top o' the heap here, Monette has chosen to direct two shows. The first of those two shows, the aforementioned Comedy of Errors, opened Saturday night on the stage of the Avon Theatre as the final entry in a packed opening week -- an opening week in which Monette's vision for the comedy was much discussed amongst the chattering classes, whose gossip sketched a ribald vision, somewhere between the theatrical equivalents of the movies' 18A rating and their R.

But the proof, as always, is in the pudding -- and Monette's production of Shakespeare's tale of two sets of twins separated at birth and eventually reunited after much confusion on the streets of ancient Ephesus proves to be so much theatrical blanc mange, unlikely to offend anyone who has ever enjoyed a more than passing acquaintance with a pre-pubescent boy.

Think plenty of bum jokes, groin jokes and the like, mixed in with staples from the Monette school of comedy. And while things like screaming cats and Elmer Fudd accents will be all too familiar to audiences who have supped at his comedic table on previous occasions, there are, in fact, enough references to earlier Stratford productions, his and others, both of this season and seasons previous, that one practically needs an annotated program to catch them all.

Now, if right about now, you're starting to wonder just what exactly this all has to do with Shakespeare, you're not alone, for clearly, there were more than a few people at Saturday night's opening performance that were wondering precisely the same thing, as they watched the Monette-sanctioned antics steal the focus from Shakespeare's tale of sibling silliness.

The siblings in question are the twins Antipholus of Syracuse (David Snelgrove) and Antipholus of Ephesus (Tom McCamus) and their twin slaves, both named Dromio (Bruce Dow and Steve Ross), each torn from their respective sibling during a storm at sea when they were but mere babes.

But while one Antipholus, in company with one of the Dromios, was eventually reunited with his father in Syracuse, his brother and his slave eventually came to rest in Ephesus, where they have carved out a comfortable life.

The comfort of that life is shattered when their mirror images arrive and are mistaken for their native counterparts. Things quickly devolve into what might well be considered the prototypical British farce.

It's all very silly stuff, saved from inconsequence by the cleverness of the writing, not that you're likely to get much of a chance to appreciate anything that ethereal in a production that keeps stepping on itself in its rush to get to the next laugh. And if that laugh is more inspired by the Three Stooges than by the Bard, apparently so much the better, by Monette's lights.

As for the cast, they all appear to be having a great time and happily, their bonhommie occasionally spills over into the audience, thanks to the proven comedic skills of performers like Dow, Ross and McCamus supported by Walter Borden, Chick Reid, Brigit Wilson, Allegra Fulton and a host of others, all backed to the max by the set design of Michael Gianfrancesco and costume designer Dana Osborne.

But Monette keeps getting bogged down, unable to commit to a single style and instead, tossing elements of farce, sketch slapstick, spoof and even musical comedy into the pot in the apparent hope that he'll end up with a comedic stew.

Instead, he just succeeds in making a hash of things.

Monette's final production, An Ideal Husband, opens on the stage of the Festival Theatre August 11.
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